Let’s play some very adult games! This episode is all about tease and denial games, including some fun edging assignments from your Mistress hosts – Ms Olivia and Ms Delia. Don’t forget the lube for this cock stroking extravaganza.
Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot: kink conversation, BDSM advice, insight from he worlds of Distance Domination and phone sex. We are your hosts: Mistress Delia and Ms Olivia.
Thank you for joining us today. We are talking about some of our favorite tease and denial games. Ms Delia, so should we tell them to pause the podcast until they get lube?
Ms Delia: You know, we will talk more about lube in this podcast for sure. I’m sure of it.
Ms Olivia: Since we’re actually going to be giving some assignments, some tease and denial games, I think maybe they should pause the podcast and go get some lube.
Ms Delia: Why not? It sounds really, really fun to me. I might have to get mine.
Ms Olivia: Let’s talk a little bit what is tease and denial.
Ms Delia: Tease and denial is what you do when you are extending your masturbation session, whether you are solo or with a partner.
You tease and tease and tease the genitals until you are approaching orgasm. Until it feels like one more touch or stroke or tap could send you over the edge into orgasmic bliss, but you stop slow down or reduce the teasing the stimulation and you find that edge of pleasure.
It’s so very sexy and I will be honest, tease and denial is maybe my very favorite kink, the one that I do most.
First T&D for Mistress
Ms Olivia: Did you always like T&D? For me, tease and denial was initially cruel and unusual punishment. In my twenties, I would never have thought of being a cocktease. Back then it was all about the orgasm.
Ms Delia: I had dated someone after I started exploring kink and I talked about this in a sexy conversation. I said, “I would love to do some teasing, just trust me. I want to do this to you. It will be fun.”
We gave it a go one time, only one time! You would have thought that I was trying to just, I mean to wound him in some way, that was the worst experience ever. I teased him and it was almost like this indignant “What? I didn’t get to come. I was right there. What are you doing?” There was no pleasure for him and I didn’t get any of my sexy Femdom headspace. I didn’t. So we broke up.
Ms Olivia: ~laughs~ My version of that was tease but I didn’t know T&D was a thing. I am a frustrated stripper. So I love to slowly strip off my clothes and do that sexy striptease with that guy in my life.
I do the stripper moves. You know dancing around, putting my ass on his lap and all of that kind of stuff. That actually ended up being kind of tease and denial, but I didn’t know that it had a name.
Now tease and denial games are actually going mainstream. I read this article that has Scrabble tiles as a tease and denial game!
Ms Delia: You can use so many different things to play tease and denial games.
I am a fan of rolling dice or leaving my teasing up to fate, for example flipping a coin. Can you cum or not? How many more edges will you get overall? I’ll use a 20 sided dice. Oh look, it landed on 18! ~laughs~
There are so many things you can do to just spice up sex and spice up masturbation. I think that’s what makes tease and denial so much fun.
Ms Olivia: This is one example where having a Mistress that knows what she’s doing or having a woman controlling the tease and denial game makes it so much more fun than just doing a by rote assignment on some internet site or on a porn site.
For example, I’m a baseball fan, I was talking to several guys this past baseball season and I controlled their edging and their ability to come with runs, strikes, or whether a team wins. Any game can be personalized with whatever is going on in that person’s life. It is so much more fun when masturbation assignments are personalized for you.
Ms Olivia: You do tell people that you’re a Patriots fan.
Ms Delia: The thing is I loved the New England Patriots when they weren’t good and now that they are great, I still love them and I will love them when they are not good anymore. So it’s a longtime loyalty.
Ms Olivia: On behalf of all of the Patriots haters, when do you think they will not be good?
Ms Delia: I’ll be honest, when our coach and quarterback are done, probably within the next five years, I think it will absolutely shake things up.
Ms Olivia: You’re right! I love doing this podcast with you because we go on these little tangents. You get some football analysis. I, by the way, am a New York Mets fan. So if anybody wants to talk about baseball, um, don’t talk to me about it because I’m busy sobbing about our season. So fuck you Mets. We’re gonna wait until next year and see if things go a little bit better. Okay. So I think being a Mets fan really is a good experience in denial.
~laughs~ How’s that transition back into our topic? Why is sexual denial so … sexy?
The paradox of arousal: sexual denial.
Ms Delia: Mmm, it really is so sexy for me. It is about the power and control of literally and figuratively holding a man’s orgasm in my hands. Having the control over it, being able to say yes or no. When I am cock teasing a man, when I am keeping him riding an edge, not giving him that orgasm, I feel incredible power and arousal. It is the sexiest feeling because I am completely in my Domme space. I love it.
Ms Olivia: I absolutely agree with you! Erotic sexual denial is amazing for the man as well.
He is able to last longer!
Scary statistics about premature ejaculation
Ms Olivia: Studies show that one third of men between ages 18 and 60 will experience some form of premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. I know that a lot of men are really worried about PE. If you get really good at edging through tease and denial games, you don’t have to worry about that because you’ve been to the edge and backed off, been to the edge and backed off.
Ms Delia: Oh absolutely. And there are a lot of sexy techniques that you can learn. Speaking with a mistress who is completely experienced in tease and denial, orgasm delay, and edging you can learn so many tips and techniques You learn to really just relax in the most intense times when you’re trying to get a woman to an orgasm. Being able to do that gives you the sexual confidence that you need to do more and more sexually.
Trying new masturbation techniques will give you so much more pleasure than just rubbing one out.
An orgasm is like pizza
Ms Olivia: I live in New York state, so we have amazing pizza. I had some friends visit and they’re from the desert Southwest. They are used to run of the mill Pizza Hut and Domino’s kind of pizza. I ordered them pizza from just one of the local pizza places and they absolutely lost their mind. When you say there’s pizza and then there’s PIZZA, that is absolutely true.
Orgasm control and a Dominant Woman
Ms Olivia: Let’s talk about about orgasm and control from the perspective of a Dominant Woman. I just want to point out that a man doesn’t have to be submissive in order to get the benefits of tease and denial games. It’s great for him whether or not he gets that submissive rush of cock control. It’s great for him because he gets a better orgasm when he is allowed to orgasm.
Ms Delia: Oh absolutely. A lot of men that I speak to are not really submissive at all when it comes to tease and denial. In fact, they like to have a lot of control over their cock control, if that makes any sense. They will call up and say, I would like for you to guide me through five edges and then I want to have an orgasm or I would love for you to teach me how to do kegel squeezes or how to get to the point where I have a dry orgasm.
I think men who are really sexually smart and who have healthy sexual experiences really get into what can be better than the orgasm I had yesterday. I want more. And I think that quest to find more excitement and a better orgasm leads a lot of men who are not necessarily submissive into our kind of wheelhouse.
Ms Olivia: I think you’re absolutely right. I’ve pointed this out to men. They may think they’re an expert on their own penis because God knows they’ve been playing with it for years and years and years and years and years but we are experienced with way more penises. So we’ve got a lot of creativity, wealth of knowledge, et cetera that can make even something as simple as guided masturbation off the charts amazing!
Ms Delia: Oh yes, it’s true. I spend a lot of time thinking about how men in general masturbate, and I love to think about ways to change that masturbation to make their masturbation better. It’s so hot.
Ms Olivia: And let me just also say when his masturbation is better, our experience is also better because we like the rush of cock control.
Ms Delia: Right, exactly.
Ms Olivia: So it’s kind of a win-win for both parties.
Ms Delia: Oh, I would agree. I don’t get any better Domme space than when I’m right there in the midst of that controlling, tease and denial session. It’s so heady.
Difference between T&D and chastity
Ms Olivia: Sometimes people hear tease and denial and they think that we’re talking about chastity. We actually did an entire Femdom guide to male chastity podcast talking about misconceptions. We started by saying, “Hey, chastity doesn’t have to be three months, six months, or one year. Chastity can be two days.”
I’ve done a fun tease and denial game in a 10 minute cutoff call. I’ve also done calls when he says, “I’ve been edging for three hours and I want to cum for you in another hour, guide me for that last hour.”
Some people have called for tease and denial program that take a week or more. They go through personalized assignments and are in touch with Mistress every day. It’s not one size fits all.
Ms Delia: Exactly! I know that you and I both love putting together personalized and specialized orgasm control programs. This can be a day, a week or longer. I know that you are so creative in your assignments as am I, and putting these things together, it gives me a little extra sexual thrill knowing that a man will be following them.
I love hearing from him especially towards the end when he is thinking “Oh, I’m probably earning an orgasm soon.” He’ll email and say, “I’m really horny! My balls feel so big!” That’s thrilling for me, for both of us.
Ms Olivia: We also tend to post general assignments on both of our blogs. My blog is experienced mistress.com Delia’s blog is beg for mistress.com.
These general assignments will give you just a little bit of a taste. We recommend the personalized assignments, but you can do find generalized assignments. If you’re doing a tease game with dice, you can use a site like random.org.
I like to use the dice to see whether or not you get to cum, how many edges you’re going to do, how many days you’re going to be delayed before you’re allowed to cum. All of those various things. It’s fun.
Ms Delia: It really is fun! We can be so creative with those kinds of dice games. Over here at LDW Enchantrix, we actually have a wonderful site called May I Cum. Olivia and I post lots of interesting, free and fun, masturbation control assignments where you need to listen to the audio at the end to see if you can cum or not.
Ms Olivia: So let’s give a couple of assignments. I’ll do a cock stroking assignment and I like to start with a little bit of preparation. So for this particular assignment, he is going to need lube. Delia, what kind of lube do you like?
Ms Delia: I love all different kinds of lube for different purposes. But for stroking here, a water-based lube would be great. Something like Astroglide or anything you would get at the department store. The negative about that is you have to reapply.
For stroking, I like a more silicone-based lube or an oil based natural lube like vitamin E oil or a nice almond oil. I have two bottles, almond oil and vitamin E oil on my headboard. So those are my preferred go to for lube.
Ms Olivia: I love almond oil for massages!! For cock stroking, I recommend olive oil or coconut oil because I really liked the smell and the feel of these natural oils. And your dick will smell like a snack! Use those oils if you won’t get distracted by thinking about food.
Okay, warm up the oil very, very, very, very, very slightly. Test it. Don’t pour hot oil on your dick without testing it.
Now, take a deep breath so you slowly experience your body and your environment.
Mistress Olivia’s tease and denial assignment
Ms Olivia: Here are my mistress masturbation instructions. Open your eyes, dip your fingers in the warm oil, and then take your fingers and just stroke that shaft from the base all the way up to the top with your oil coated fingers. Only use your fingertips and go slow. Pay attention.
Notice how doing it for somebody else and letting somebody else guide you is so much more fun than just jerking off.
I want you to feel your cock getting more and more stiff and beginning to yearn for more.
Now put some of that warm oil on the palms of your hands. Wrap one hand around the base of the cock and stroke up and down for 20 minutes. Don’t cum just stroke. Hold this sensation just under the point of no return for your orgasm.
This is called surfing on the edge of your orgasm. If you think of a one to 10 scale, one is your flaccid and 10 is an uncontrollable orgasm. I want you to be between an 8.5 and a 9.5, depending on your level of control.
I want you to stay at an 8.5 if you have a little bit less control. Go to a 9.5 if you have a lot of ability to control when you have an orgasm.
Stroke for 20 minutes. Then, STOP. Hands off! Cool down.
Take your oil coated fingers and just kind of play with your nipples. Stroke, touch your nipples during the cool down.
Then I want you to wrap your hand back around that cock upside down again, stroke and surf that orgasm edge for 10 more minutes with your hand upside down. Stop. Go back to your nipples during the cool down.
Finally, stroke to an edge again for five more minutes and don’t cum. Don’t cum because Ms Delia has a tease and denial assignment as well.
Mistress Delia’s tease and denial assignment
For my assignment you are going to do some timed stroking and edging for me.
I would want you to roll a dice just to see how many hours you get to do this. It will be between one to six hours. Get the number of hours.
You will start right on the hour. Get naked, relax in a very comfortable place. Use nice slow strokes on your cock. You can use a lubbed up hand or a dry hand, whichever you prefer.
For this, I want you to think about a rating scale of pleasure from one to five. One means you’ve just gotten hard. Two and three increase your pleasure. A number four is an edge and five is the orgasm. I want you to slowly stroke up to the number four, just move up to that four and feel each number taking a breath as your pleasure increases when you get to that number four,
When you reach that edge, let go of your cock. Just stop completely. Abandon your cock and let it throb and pulse.
Then you can get dressed again.
Go about your day, kind of straighten yourself up and shake it out the next hour. Roll the dice a couple of times until you get at least a two. That hour will go by so quickly and you can come back and repeat everything that you did the hour before. Slow stroking, feeling each number, breathing, getting to the edge and just throbbing until that edge passes. So you’ll repeat this for as many hours as you rolled and if you’re really loving it, do it a couple more times.
When you are done with all of your edges and that nice big block of time, you can flip a coin heads, you get to cum, tails you are denied.
Ms Olivia: You can also flip a coin by going to random.org and buddy, no cheating, right? Mistresses have eyes in the back of our heads and we’ll know if you cheated.
Ms Delia: It’s really true.
Ms Olivia: You can also, after either of these assignments, contact either or both of us and give us an update. Let us know. Send us an email
Orgasm control by a Femdom Mistress
Ms Olivia: Ms Delia and I are both Femdoms, which means we both believe in the Mistress credo. Orgasm control means I have complete cock control and can say yes or say no to an orgasm. But we’re also a kind of educating people in what tease and denial games mean.
Cock control means all of that kind of stuff, so when you get a caller and the caller says “Whether or not I orgasm is up to you Mistress.” What do you say?
Ms Delia: I will tell that caller that nine times out of 10, if he leaves that up to me, Oh my goodness, he is going to be denied. I just can’t help myself. It is something that I love so much. I am very clear. It’s like my own little warning. If you leave it up to me, you probably will not be allowed to cum. I have to tell you I love it so much and when they hear me explain that they usually say, “That’s fine mistress. I’m leaving it all up to you.” I get so excited because I know what I’m going to do or not.
Ms Olivia: I love that. I agree with you. Although I do it just a little bit differently because part of the enjoyment for me is not knowing. Right? So I will pull up random.org and I will pick a number and he will pick a number and I’ll say, “I’m thinking of a number. If you get over the number you get to cum and if you are under, you don’t. Even if we haven’t been playing a dice game, I’ll leave it up to the roll of the dice. Now sometimes I have been known to lie. I probably shouldn’t admit that, but it’s true.
Ms Delia: I like doing one dice and saying the numbers one and two are an orgasm. Three and four are a ruined orgasm and five and six are complete denial. It really does leave it up to fate and I might roll a couple of times to get what I want.
Ms Olivia: ~laughs~ So you lied.
Ms Delia: I don’t really lie. I just, I fib a little bit. ~laughs~ But, yeah.
Ms Olivia: Oh yeah. It’s still a lie, Sparky. It’s what Mistress wants. We always get what we want.
Ms Delia: Yeah.
Ms Olivia: That’s why we are Mistresses.
Ms Delia: Exactly.
Ms Olivia: Here’s what we want. We want to hear from you. Did you do the assignments? Are your balls full and aching? Did you cum or did you obey?
You can always call us for personalized cock teasing instructions. Dial (800) 601-7259 ask for Delia, Olivia or both.
And again, you can send us an email:
Ms Delia: You can keep up with all of the sexy news, audios and photos on our blogs.
Ms Delia: Beg for Mistress
Ms Olivia: Experienced Mistress.
Thank you so much for joining us. We will see you next week for The Weekly Hot Spot!