What are the most popular kinks during covid?
A survey has the top 10 covid kinks and today’s podcast continues with the second half of that sex survey. Mistress Olivia wonders if a foot fetish should really be called a fetish. Mistress Erika has stories about some of her favorite erotic roleplay scenes. Both ladies laugh and urge callers to have fun with sex – even the sadomasocaism pain play! Sounds like a contradiction in terms? What is fun pain or funishment? All this and more on The Weekly Hot Spot.
Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot: kink conversation, BDSM advice, insight from he worlds of Distance Domination and phone sex. We are your hosts: Ms Olivia and Ms Erika. Erika you it’s so great to have you here. This is going to be a fabulous show.
Ms Erika: Oh, thank you for having me back. It’s been so much fun with you.
Ms Olivia: We are talking about the second half of the survey on what people are doing during COVID isolation and lockdown.
So the top 10 kinks that people are exploring or participating in during COVID. The previous podcast you and I talked about the top five kinks from the covid sex survey.
Today, we’ll do the second half of that top 10 list of kinks during covid
But first we have an assignment for you. Lots of people are listening via Apple podcast. We want you to subscribe to The Weekly Hot Spot podcast and leave a review on iTunes.
If you want to listen as the episode drops every Monday at 1pm eastern – check out Cock Radio on Spreaker – here’s the link to The Weekly Hot Spot on Spreaker.
Sexual behavior during a pandemic
Ms Olivia: That’s a phrase I never expected to say – there are changes in sexual behavior during a pandemic,
I think this made people look for erotic diversity or things to kind of mix it up. Have you noticed that?
Ms Erika: Absolutely. I’m wanting to branch out and explore different kinks or different stimuli. So I think some people are looking at this top 10 kink list, if somebody hears something that they’re curious about and they want to explore it, they should absolutely call us because we know pretty much all of the kinks.
Ms Olivia: When was the last time you heard something that made you say, huh? I don’t know what that is.
Ms Erika: That is a very good question. I can’t remember. Cause we’re so versed in sex, fetish and kink. So ask us and if we like it, we’ll do a session with you and trust me, you will love the experience, whether or not you want to do it again.
If we don’t enjoy that kink, we can kind of guide you on your way to find your perfect Mistress.
The COVID top 10 kinks survey list.
Ms Olivia: Number six on the top 10 list of kinks during COVID is age play.
This is simply a difference in age from one person to the other – basically using age to emphasize the power exchange dynamic.
Power exchange and Woman in Charge
Ms Olivia: I’ve got one caller – in the fantasy I was his college professor and college advisor and he was the young college student who I seduce, capture and then turn into my sexual slave, my submissive slave. So that’s definitely an example of age dynamics in Dominance and submission.
From our standpoint, it’s women in authority.
Ms Erika: Yes, absolutely. I’ve even done therapy type calls where somebody comes to alleviate themselves from their desires and I turn the tables. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to make you even more addicted.
Ms Olivia: Right! It’s Dom/sub with a little bit of a different twist, it’s about control – dominance submission. And some of it can actually be sort of vanilla. But with that difference in age and that difference in power.
Ms Erika: Right. Of course. Absolutely. And one thing that just popped into my mind are MILFS.
Ms Olivia: Right?!
Ms Erika: I love MILF porn, don’t you?
Oh my goodness. I was just looking at some MILF porn the other day. It just gave me chills to think about it. It’s part of what we both like — POV porn, his point of view porn.
Ms Olivia: Yes. Love it!
Ms Erika: Well, I’ll just give him a little tease. The title of it is: Giving My Friends’ Hot Mom A Massage.
That was so hot. And part of that is that it’s a taboo subject. It’s in the realm of being really naughty to do all of those kinds of things. There’s so much to explore with this.
Ms Olivia: Next on the top ten kinks during covid list – one of our personal favorites, the foot fetish!
I think we should also throw in the leg fetish and even stockings or pantyhose, I think of all of those basically in the same area, but the survey had just the foot fetish as an option.
Ms Erika: Well, I think foot fetish or foot kink is probably the most commonly known of the fetishes. Don’t you think?
Ms Olivia: I think so. It’s just like anything else, the more you learn about something, the more you see the gradations of the nuances. Right?
Here’s an example – I moved in with a boyfriend once and I’m looking at his spices, he had salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, and garlic. I’m a really good cook and I said, “Where are your spices?” He pointed at that little array. I said, “No, the rest of them??” And he goes, what rest of them? I just started listing a bunch of spices.
Once you get into something you start seeing that there’s way more than you ever thought of so I think you’re right. The foot fetish is that main catchall type of category.
Do you think it’s a fetish or a kink or both? Can a foot fetish be a kink or a nice addition to erotic pleasure?
A fetish, by pure definition, means you must have that object and it’s usually considered an object, meaning it’s not the entire person as whole. So since a foot is so far removed from sex and sexuality in a typical scenario, if you must have that foot involvement, technically that’s a fetish.
If you like to play with pretty feet from time to time, then it’s more of a kink.
But with that said, and putting labels on things, if somebody comes to me and says, yeah, I like to play with feet once in a while, but they have great sex outside of that and they want to call it a fetish run with it. That’s cool.
Ms Olivia: You bring up a really good point; let’s talk about those labels. I wonder if something like a foot fetish is actually even outside of the norm because it’s definitely not outside of my norm. Years ago, giving a blow job, a woman to a man giving a blow job was considered outside of the norm.
You know, before the Kinsey report on human sexuality, people really thought the only sex that people had or was appropriate was male / female missionary position, close your eyes and think of England type of sex. No wonder women were turning down their men left and right, at least for me I need variety.
The Kinsey report kind of blew all of that out of the water because it was this big, huge sex survey and it showed: men with men, but still with women, it showed women who like to be with other women, but who were in a happy marriage. It showed all kinds of sex, including the foot fetish.
So do you call it a fetish or an aspect or a fetish? I want it kind of put into normal sex is at least touching her foot. Maybe I have a foot fetish and I’m lobbying it to be very mainstream.
Ms Erika: Right. I mean, I can’t think of anything more relaxing and sensual than a foot massage. Right? Mm that’s a wonderful way to make a submissive guy get and feel very submissive immediately.
Ms Olivia: Mmmmm yes. The Mistress in the chair, and then say, “Kneel; kneel at my feet, slip off my shoes now massage my foot, good move your hands up. Unclasp my stocking, roll that stacking down my toe.
Ms Erika: Uh, you’re going to make me take another break girl.
First experience with foot worship
Ms Erika: You know, I definitely am not your typical lady. I’ve always been very open-minded. I mean, from my very earliest memories, I’ve been looking through porn magazines or the forum so I didn’t think it was weird.
It actually evolved from a foot massage and realizing how excited he was to do that.
So, you know, there’s very few things when it comes to sex and sexuality, that I’m like, what? That’s weird. I usually say, “Go on, that is fantastic. Well, let’s get into that. Let’s look at this, let’s try this. What does this button do? Woo.”
Ms Olivia: The very first time I had someone do this he was pressing his cop on my barefoot and I loved it all like the licking and massaging and stuff like that.
It felt really good but I remember looking down, okay, I’m a little vain. I’ll admit it, I remember looking down and going, “Oh my goodness, my nails aren’t done. My feet looked so ugly.”
That also inspired me to always get a pedicure.I hadn’t really thought about getting a pedicure, you know, like in college and stuff, you paint your toenails, but you don’t really go to the spa. You don’t really think about it in college.
Ms Erika: And it’s expensive to get a pedicure.
Ms Olivia: Yes! I guess college girls now might get a pedicure, but there’s way more conversation about having nails done and having pretty nails and the desire for nail cosmetics and things like that then when I was in college.
Ms Olivia: During COVID my nail salon is closed and I haven’t had a professional pedicure in a year.
Ms Erika: Oh, same here. The last time it was, um, probably February of last year.
Ms Olivia: Yeah. I live in New York state. So things are very closed down, up here and on the conservative side compared to other States and the salons are still closed. The minute they open up, let me tell you, I’m going for a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, a professional haircut. I want, um, like I want my body wrapped in seaweed and mud. I want to spend the entire day at the spa.
Ms Erika: I hear you. Down here in Florida, it has been a little bit more open but because I cannot afford to get sick and stay away from all my lovely friends I’ve been very conservative on my end of going out.
I know that I can do a halfway decent job and keep myself looking decent without going to the salon.. But it is such a luxurious, wonderful time to just pamper yourself.
Ms Olivia: I’ll never forget, I was at this fetish play party and there was a beautiful cross dresser who was there and her only desire was to kneel in front of a Mistress and give a pedicure. I had already gotten a pedicure, so I didn’t need a pedicure. And I wanted to be able to wear my latex boots without my nails getting all smudged up and I didn’t want to have bare feet for super long, but I took off the boots and let her just give me this fabulous massage. I mean, it was just amazing.
Ms Olivia: So let me ask you when someone wants to love on your feet, do you like it when you’re barefoot, when you wear stockings, when you’re wearing socks? I mean, there’s all kinds of ways to do it foot fetish, right?
Ms Erika: Oh, absolutely. The foot fetish naturally bleeds into those items like stockings and socks and just like other types of stimuli on my body. I like a slow buildup and soft pressure or soft sensations move towards stronger and firmer. So starting with socks or stockings and having that just a little bit of a tease and having them take them off is also very fantastic. And also we end up with bare feet. So how about all of the above?
Ms Olivia: All of the above? Absolutely!
I like to watch foot fetish porn because I like watching this woman with pretty pretty toes having a foot job where his is right in between my feet. And his cock is going up through kind of the gap where my arches are. My soles are sort of together and he’s going out through that.
Ms Erika: Having them hold your feet there because after a while, you know, holding your feet, just like that is kind of stressful for us and we shouldn’t be under that kind of stress.
Cum eating and foot worship
Ms Olivia: If he cums on your feet, do you make him lick it up?
Ms Erika: Of course, they should always clean up their mess. And if you don’t do it now, if you’re not used to eating your own cum, well, that’s a whole fantastic new way of learning another kink and feeling submissive. I mean, how much more submissive can you be than to be ordered to clean up your own mess?
Ms Olivia: This was something I was kind of surprised wasn’t on the list of kinks being explored during COVID.
I’ve had a lot of callers who call and it’s like, I’m really bored with everything and I stumbled across cum eating and now I’m curious about eating my own cum.
Ms Erika: Yep. I’ve had a lot of addicts or I turned them into addicts, cum addicts.
Ms Olivia: Well, you know, there’s something that is so naughty and taboo about a man eating his own cum.
If you think about it, cum eating, activates all of the senses. I mean, for sure it’s physical, but it’s also visual, taste, smell, hearing, because he’s listening to him and he’s listening to me talk, all of the senses are really activated with that.
I love doing cum eating calls, especially someone who’s new to cum eating.
Cum eating and being submissive
Before the orgasm eating your own cum may sound like, Ooh, yeah, let’s do it; but as soon as that orgasm happens and your body’s hormones put in that reverse engines instantaneously, it’s like, Oh no, wait, this isn’t such a good idea.
So to have someone with that desire, interest, not being able to do it before and then working with them, finding out what their particulars are, what’s going to motivate them to be submissive after the orgasm is such a thrill and a charge to my entire being. I love it.
Ms Olivia: I am right there with you. It triggers every single dominance and control cell in my body.
Fantasy cum eating versus real
Ms Olivia: Do you know what I call that when the urge to eat cum leaves after orgasm? The cum and go syndrome.
I can’t tell you how many men like the fantasy of cum eating, but they don’t actually want to do it. And let me just say, because this leads into number eight on the COVID kink quiz, it’s role-play!
It’s fine to do role play about cum eating and then not eat your own cum. Don’t make yourself wrong. This is not like school. It’s not a test. It’s okay to think something is really hot and then you don’t do it or you don’t want to do it in reality.
Ms Erika: The fantasy or the roleplay of eating your own cum is equally hot.
And here’s an interesting aside and you probably know this already, when you do a role-play or fantasy and you’re listening to me, dictate a fantasy and you’re having a good time over there, what you’re actually doing is practicing behaviors that you’re not used to.
A lot of times when it comes to guys or people that are not very open-minded when it comes to sex or want to be open-minded, but just can’t get over that hump is if you practice the behavior, even in your mind, or in a role play, you become more comfortable with it. And you can surpass that taboo line so that role-play may or may not lead to actual cum eating but it’s a very good practice of that behavior.
Ms Olivia: Oh! That’s a great point.
No fail way to make him eat cum
Ms Olivia: You know what? I have a solution to getting over the hump.
I’ll say, “Okay, you’re not going to eat it. I actually don’t want you to eat it. Don’t eat it.” He gets comfortable and then, at the end, when he cums I’ll say, “Just stick the tip of your tongue in it. You’re not going to eat it. I don’t want you to eat it. Just stick the tip of your tongue in it. That’s all.”
All of a sudden, he’s no longer thinking about eating his own cum. The pressure is off. And he sticks his tongue in his cum and pulls his tongue back in and eventually, you know, just talking or whatever, swallows.
He has no idea what he’s done. And I say, “Congratulations, you are now a cum eater!”
Ms Erika: And he’s like, no, I didn’t.
Ms Olivia: I just laugh and say, the tip of your tongue dipped in the cum, you brought it back into your mouth, that means you’re a cum eater. Now we’re just talking about degrees.
Ms Erika: Yes. We’re just talking about volume, sweetheart.
Ms Olivia: Right. And a lot of times he will completely switch his mind around. And once the pressure is off, he can either cum and say yes or he can say, “You know what? I didn’t like the taste. I don’t want to do it. Let’s just do it in fantasy.” And that’s fine too.
Sexual role play options
Ms Olivia: You can do everything in a roleplay. It can be verbal. It can be over Skype. It can be sexy texting. There are all kinds of ways to do this, right?
Ms Erika: Oh, absolutely. Sexy texting or sexting is very popular particularly now with COVID. It’s not a traditional sexy textingi that I’m thinking about. I do erotic writing for commission as well.
Mistress writes custom erotica
Ms Erika: I have this one pet who has a foot fetish and loves to give pedicures. They say, “Hey, this is my idea today.” I’ll write for 20 minutes and send it to him. And then he takes that when he has time and takes care of business.
Sexy texting is perfect for a Giantess fantasy roleplay. That is so much fun because I can grow. If we’re doing Skype, I can grab images that I have on my computer and share them and describe the scene. It’s so it’s two-fold visuals and sexting.
Custom erotic audios
Ms Olivia: First of all, for the foot fetish guy, do you turn it into an audio and also send the audio? Or is this just written or does it depend on what he wants at the time?
Ms Erika: For this particular client it’s just writing.
If you want me to do a custom erotic audio for you on that, that is a whole different thing. It’s a lot more labor intensive to do an audio than it is just to write because you can quickly change words or whatnot. So for this client, it’s just an erotic story that he gets to enjoy later.
Giantess audios are also very big with the sound effects. I love putting in sound effects.
Ms Olivia: Sexting a Giantess fantasy is great on Skype. I’ll load images into Skype and it’s kind of like, Ohhhhhh.
Spotting a fetish in pop culture
Ms Olivia: Do you remember when Lady Gaga came out with her perfume? She was laying down and she had a whole bunch of tiny men all over her body? There are a lot of Giantess fans out there having a grand old time with this one.
I’m going to take us on another excursion. How do you feel when you spot a fetish or kink in pop culture? For example, Quentin Tarantino, you watch his movies. It’s like, Quentin Tarantino has lots of shots of bare feet. I can accurately describe Uma Thurman’s bare feet. When I spot a fetish in pop culture, I’m happy!
Ms Erika: Depending on the audience that I’m with, I may gleefully say, “Oh my goodness, this is so fantastic. Look at that.” They don’t necessarily pick up on it depending on who the audience I am with at the time. But yeah, it’s fantastic. I get a little special thrill going, Oh, I know somebody who’s going to like this.
I think we both could identify people who call us who like different types of things. And we’re like, “Oh, we need to make sure we bring them up to so-and-so. Did they see this?”
Ms Olivia: During COVID I binged watched a couple of series and I’m thinking of one in particular, but I can’t remember which one it was. I want to say it was a superhero movie or series and there was some outright fetish play and discussion of fetish or BDsm stuff. And I remember thinking, “Wow, that’s very forward.”
Ms Erika: And it’s a good thing I think, I mean, if you don’t like what you’re seeing, turn the channel, turn off the movie. But to get that open atmosphere out there in the general population is fantastic.
That’s one reason why I’m here to try to de-stigmatize and say, “Hey, look, we’re all different. Let’s celebrate what we like differently instead of going, oh, that’s kind of weird.”
Latex and kink fashion
Ms Olivia: And the discussion about kink and latex fashion becoming more mainstream and leather fashion becoming more mainstream.
I think even the Kardashians have I think sex toys in the online store. I often see mainline publications do stories on kinky sex toys.
Ms Erika: Ohhhhh, I would have to check that out.
Ms Olivia: It might be Gwyneth Paltrow. Or maybe they both have BDsm, kink or fetish sex toys.
Ms Erika: Well, I could understand that from Gwyneth. I mean she already put out a vagina candle, didn’t she?
Ms Olivia: HA! Yess, right. She’s got all kinds of stuff. Some of it I think, “Oh, Gwyneth stop.” I’d rather have a nice linen scent. Or how about a nice vanilla? She told Seth Myers that the vagina candle was a joke – and the story is funny.
Ms Erika: There’s a part of me, I actually want to buy the candle.
Ms Olivia: I’m bisexual. So I have smelled and tasted a variety of pussies. There is no uniform taste or smell. It’s individualized just like cum.
Making cum taste really great
Ms Erika: Absolutely. And with cum it really depends on what he’s eating.If I’m going to suck and swallow his cum, I’ll say, “Okay, when is the last time you had asparagus and let’s get you drinking and an awful lot of pineapple juice” because that’s not an old wives tale, that’s true. Pineapple juice makes your cum taste so much better.
And you know, what else? Cantaloupe!
Cantaloupe makes cum taste like candy. I’m telling you, girl, if you got a guy that doesn’t eat red meat, doesn’t smoke and bones up on his pineapple and cantaloupe. He’s never getting my mouth off that dick. I mean, I have a sweet tooth.
Ms Olivia: I can see it now with the popularity of the Keto diet. How can I possibly stay on my keto diet and still have a sweet tooth? Could you imagine all of the people on the keto diet saying, cum eating as dessert? So a win-win situation for both people?
Ms Erika: I absolutely agree.
Sissy housewife roleplay
Ms Olivia: Speaking of cum eating, one of my favorite role plays is 1950s sissy housewife. That can be the cuckold husband who is turned into a sissy housewife, who is the fluffer for my lover or the flat-out submissive to men and being turned into a full sissy.
Ms Erika: I love that, especially with all the attire as well, the girdles and the bullet bras and the petticoats or crinoline underneath the skirt.
Ms Olivia: I’m in it primarily for the clothing. I love retro clothing.
Ms Erika: Plus a sissy maid is handy.
Ms Olivia: If you get an actual maid who is a sissy as well. Sissy does all of the laundry and all of the cleanup. I’ll do the cooking, but sissy does everything else. That’s a win-win that works for me.
Ms Erika: Well, I’ll tell you a little secret. It might make you just a little bit jealous, although I don’t have a sissy husband my nice cock takes very good care of me in that area. I haven’t done laundry or cooked a meal in a very long time now.
Ms Olivia: See? That is a fantastic partner. That really is. So is he also your submissive?
Ms Erika: No, he’s not. He’s my lover. Oh yeah. Figure that one out. I don’t know, but you know, the heart wants what the heart wants and you know, even though I’m in the sex business, you know, sex is not a hundred percent of the relationship. Although he takes care of me wonderfully, he’s just a little on this side of kinky.
Ms Olivia: I’m polyamorous. We did a whole podcast on polyamory and alternative sexual relationships.
I have a regular male lover and female lover, both are submissive.
I also have lover lovers that it’s very equal. It’s not a dominant submissive relationship at all.
I love doing cuckold calls, but I don’t have a real life cuckold lifestyle. I used to cheat and turn men into my cuckold – now I have a real life lifestyle where I openly admit that I am polyamorous. There was no way I was going to be monogamous.
I can be emotionally faithful, but if you are looking for solo sex forever, that’s not going to happen. That’s just not me.
I love doing cuckold calls there are so many ways to be a cuckold.
Ms Erika: I agree and understanding the other person’s idea of what cuckolding is, is very important. I mean, cuckolding is so diverse.
It’s all the way from just knowing about her cheating on you and not wanting details and teasing them about what might be happening to what you said, being the submissive and being 100% sissy fluffing the bull and being dominated by the bull. I mean, it’s just from soup to nuts, so to speak. Yeah, the soup and then serving the nuts.
When en femme
Ms Olivia: One of my favorite calls is with a cross-dresser who is a lesbian. So when someone is in fem and presenting and being a woman, if they want to be with me sexually as a woman, I refer to them as a lesbian.
Ms Erika: Yes, absolutely. 100% because that’s a lesbian relationship.
It’s also hot when we go out as girlfriends and then I help her to pick up a man and then help her get in touch with her inner femininity or woman.
Ms Olivia: Those are wonderful role plays that kind of blend into reality because of the dressing, the hair, the makeup, the wigs, there are so many things involved in the transformation from male to female. So this can be all for verbal, all fantasy, all the way to, um, oh my gosh anything.
You know who I’m talking about? Yvonne has a million wedding dresses and just is the most beautiful bride. We did an episode with her called: Acceptance as a Crossdresser.
I took a picture of her the other day. She was standing there and it was a traditional brides pose. She was wearing her wedding gown. She had a tiara on and the veil was back and the window was providing the light coming in from the side. Her body was facing me and her face was a three quarter turn towards the window. And the lighting was just stunning.
Ms Erika: Oh, that is perfect Olivia. Yvonne is fantastic. I follow her on Twitter. I love her.
Ms Olivia: I love her so much despite the fact that she’s a Red Sox fan, so, um, yeah, I’m, I’m a Mets fan.
We’re actually like Hatfield’s and McCoy’s, we’re not supposed to be in love, but you bond. And I can prove that love can surmount anything even differences in sports teams.
We get together on the phone, but I look at her on Skype. So using Skype to touch base is one of the ways is fabulous to connect with someone.
Ms Erika: Skype is perfect for sexy texting and texting role-plays. One of our favorite texters is a straight man who wears panties.
Myths about a man who wears panties
Ms Erika: A lot of people think, Oh, I’m going to be put in panties because I have a small penis but , no, not all panty wearing men have a small penis.
Ms Olivia: Also not all panty wearing men want to wear other types of women’s clothes. If they want to wear other clothes, they may or may not change from their birth gender.
Ms Erika: Right.
Ms Olivia: You know, the person that I’m thinking about, he actually has an enormous cock and loves to wear panties.
Ms Erika: Absolutely. That’s an important point, Olivia. A lot of times it’s “Oh, you’re sissy” if you wear panties. No. There are plenty of men who enjoy cross dressing and that’s wearing the clothes of a different gender, whatever it is. It’s mostly stress-relief for them. It’s sensual and sexual.
Ms Olivia: Right. It makes me feel sensual and sexual. So why wouldn’t it make him feel that way? But they always identify 100% that I’m a man in sexy panties.
We have the best lingerie. Actually. We have the best clothing. I think that they really got the short end of the stick in the clothing department, once you get past the 18th century.
Gender and clothing
Ms Erika: Actually. I posted a tweet several weeks ago about that, about gender norms. The time period you just referred to high heels were created for men, heels were originally only worn by men!
The tweet was that we just make this gender clothing stuff up and it’s there.
The historian goes through saying, you know what we think is appropriate for the genders we just made up because 200 years ago, men were wearing stockings. Men were wearing ruffles. Men were wearing high heels and it goes on to a couple of other things. Did you know that pink, at the turn of the 19th century, was considered a strong color for boys?
So, you know, before you put people in little pigeonholes, just remember we just make this shit up people.
Getting to know you and your fantasy
Ms Olivia: Oh, that’s so brilliant. Yes! It’s important to remember that. Not all people are the same, not all fantasies are the same.
This is one of the reasons why we talk to callers. Someone can call in and say, turn into a woman. I always ask, “Well, what, what do you mean by that?” Or he’ll say, “I want to wear women’s clothes.” And I’ll say, “Tell me more. What do you mean by that? Let’s have a quick conversation to make sure that we’re on the same page.”
Variations of the cuckold relationship
Ms Olivia: I’m thinking of one cuckold caller. He doesn’t have a small penis. He has a non-traditional cuckold fantasy, but it’s definitely a cuckold fantasy. And he says the most irritating thing is when he calls and he gets someone who one doesn’t listen to what he says and then two launches into, “Oh, so you’ve got a tiny dick. You’re just a tiny dick loser.”
And he’s like, “Hello? No, I’m not a loser. ” He’s a very successful person. And he’s got like a six or seven inch penis. So it’s not a small penis. He knows it’s not small. And he doesn’t have that kink. So listening is maybe even more important than talking.
Ms Erika: Yes. It’s incredibly important to see who fits where and how to push buttons and how to push boundaries and things like that. Not all fantasies are the same. They are not.
Ms Olivia: Absolutely. You know, I think we should do a podcast actually about this!
Let’s do the next podcast about men and panties.
Being a voyeur makes the top ten list
I will admit that I have a voyeuristic streak in me. So if anyone wants to send me a picture in their panties, send it.
We’re not going to post your picture. It’s completely safe. We’re not putting it on the blog. Even if you want us to, that’s not happening, but send us a picture of your panties. I love to see that.
So I’m definitely a voyeur. I enjoy watching.
Ms Erika: That’s probably one reason why we enjoy porn as well. You know, they say that men are turned on primarily by their vision and women by their ears. But I do love me some naked guys. That’s why CFNM is so hot – men are naked and vulnerable.
That’s not to say “send me your erection” – that’s not what we’re asking for.
Etiquette of dick pics
Ms Olivia: Don’t send us dick pics unless you have permission. Now chances are if you’re a regular caller I want to see your dick! But just random guys? No.
Ms Erika: This happens a lot on Twitter “Look, Mistress, here’s my dick.”
Ms Olivia: There was a study that showed why men do that. Right?
Ms Erika: I’ll have to find it on Twitter. But basically it said that men who send unsolicited, dick pics do so, not necessarily to shock and upset anyone. They hope it’s transactional. Meaning: if I show you my dick, you’re going to show me your pussy.
Ms Olivia: ~heavy sarcasm~ Which always happens!
Ms Erika: Yes! And the second of all is because men who do this can’t step out of their own existence and see something from a different point of view.
And what I mean by that is just what I mentioned earlier. Men see naked women and they want to see it all. So they’re hoping that they turn us on by showing us their fabulous, magnificent, the best erection ever and sorry, guys. That’s not how it goes.
If I’m involved with a dick, if I’m playing with your dick, if I know you, I want to see that dick. If I don’t know you from Adam, how about a little warm up?
Ms Olivia: Remember if you piss us off you might end up with number 10 on the covid kinks list – sadomasochism! I love pain play!
Sadomasochism and erotic pain play
Now that’s another point too, Olivia. Some people want to imagine the pain while hearing the sound of my paddle and others enjoy exacting the pain on themselves on the call at my direction.
Ms Olivia: Which do you prefer? I like to hear him use the paddle on himself.
Ms Erika: I do too. I do too. And it all depends on what it is. Is it a fantasy that this is happening in? Then I probably will use my pedal for the sound effect.
If they are really into the pain, then I listen very closely and I have them practice different types of firmness of SWAT. And I listen. And if I give you 10 swats and one of them is off the mark then you’re just going to have to repeat that 10. So you have to be very focused and exacting because I can be unrelenting, which is quite a surprise for many.
Ms Olivia: I was going to ask, did you ever like realize that you could get into being a strict Mistress or even a sadist?
Ms Erika: It’s an evolution. I’ve played with spankings with lovers in my early twenties, where I really was like, wow, this is fantastic.I am more sadistic on the phone than I have ever been with a lover that’s for sure. They love it and I’m kind of proud of myself actually, because I know almost I have a little sadist in me.
Ms Olivia: I think everybody does.
A bit of sadist in everyone
Ms Erika: You know when you’re having an argument with somebody and you say something purposely to hurt them? You want to exact mental pain and you’re getting some sort of satisfaction from it. That’s right across the road to sexual excitement. And that’s where you get the sexual sadist.
Ms Olivia: I didn’t want to get into kink or fetish years ago because of my perception of pain play.
I ended up just kind of by chance meeting someone who was in the fetish community. And then I got involved in the fetish community and one of the biggest surprises for me was how much I enjoy pain play.
I have done some extreme pain play, cock and ball torment, CBT, caning and stuff.
On the phone there are very different sounds of different implements. Probably my favorite sound wise is the slapper, which is like a belt. Two things of leather that are folded over so you hear this slap slap. I love that sound.
Mental pain in BDsm and kink
Ms Olivia: One of the things that also surprised me is how much I enjoyed the delivering mental pain in a scene as well.
Now let me put a qualifier on this. All of this is in the scene. We are real people. We are regular people. We are nice outside of the scene.
Ms Erika: Where you’re talking about in the scene, doing mental pain play absolutely 100%. And I’m glad you put that qualifier in because mental pain play or humiliation is a very delicate subject.
Anybody new to me, I take the time to understand what it means to them. I don’t want to perpetuate the old stereotype that a Domme is uncaring and hates men and wants to exact justice upon them or something. It’s not the case at all, but that it’s a tool, an erotic tool that I use.
And once we’re done with the scene, once we’re done with the play, I put you back together and you are a viable, loving, wonderful entity who just happens to enjoy this type of stimulation. I don’t think poorly of you for that.
Ms Olivia: Have you had to kind of help people understand that it’s okay to get a hard dick being called a loser or some of the other degrading terms.
Ms Erika: Absolutely. And I’ve actually declined doing sessions with one.
Ms Olivia: YES! There are two people in the negotiating process.
Ms Erika: I just felt, as an armchair therapist, that this is speaking to a really dark place in them. They don’t understand that humiliation is a stimulus and that I don’t really think you’re a pig and you’re worthless. I just felt that our play would just exacerbate their mental state.
I said, “You know what, honey, I appreciate you explaining this to me.It doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you like different stimuli than other people. And I’m afraid that I might not do a good job for you.”
I am honestly, at the root of everything, concerned for your safety.
Trapped sissy and coerced into sissification
During the scene, the sissy can be very much in mental pain being told you will wear this, this is how you will be forever. And the sissy can even be crying.
Ms Erika: Oh yeah, that’s very powerful. Humiliation touches strong emotional buttons, especially erotic humiliation.
I actually had somebody a couple months ago say “That was the best orgasm I ever had. I hope you don’t think I’m some kind of weirdo.” He was literally sobbing through his orgasm. I explained to them, you should not feel bad about that.
Men, emotions and sex
Ms Erika: I think men have a hard time expressing emotions and this is a way that a lot of guys get that there are emotions. We’re helping them release their emotions right through this play. I pointed out that he is not horrible or a bad person. And I care for you at the end of the day.
Ms Olivia: At the end of the day, we both care for you.
That’s a perfect end to this podcast. If you’re listening to this on Apple, please subscribe to the The Weekly Hot Spot, like it, and leave a review on iTunes.
Get in touch with Mistress
Contact us. We answer our email. You’re not going to get whole free, complicated sessions on email, but we will answer you. And we will answer questions and interact with you. Follow our blogs for all sort of fun stuff!
Olivia: Experienced Mistress
Erika: Intelligent Phone Fantasy
Answer these questions
Ms Erika: Do you have a kink, which you haven’t told anyone else? If so, what is it? Get it off your chest. We won’t tell anyone.
Ms Olivia: I’ll kind of follow up with that and say, “What have you tried during COVID that you like? And what have you tried during COVID that you thought “Hmmm,I don’t think this is for me.”?
Ms Erika: Good question.
Ms Olivia: Do you have any other questions?
Ms Erika: Since we were just talking about humiliation, for those who do enjoy humiliation, think about your journey. Has your tolerance for humiliation increased over time? I’m asking because some physical tolerance increases over time.
Ms Olivia: Oh, I like that question. You know what? We’re just going to give you three questions this week.
Ms Erika: Fantastic.
Ms Olivia: Remember to reach out with your answers, your comments, you can also leave suggestions for future podcast topics or ask us questions; we love mistress questions.
Thanks for listening. Bye!