It’s that time of year when many of us make New Year’s resolutions to do something or achieve a goal in the coming year. We want you to to have the best sex ever this coming year by making some kink resolutions to spice up your sex life.
In this edition of The Weekly Hot Spot, your Femdom Mistress hosts, Ms Delia and Ms Olivia, talk about kink, BDSM, sex, intimacy and how to REALLY ring in the New Year!
Ms Olivia: Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot: kink conversation, BDSM advice, insight from the worlds of Distance Domination and phone sex. We are your hosts, Mistress Delia and I’m Ms Olivia.
Ms Delia: Oh, this will be so much fun. I love an “end of the year” plan. Coming up we will have our top three kink resolutions and we’ll be sharing our own naughty thoughts to give you some things to do for 2020 to make it your year.
Ms Olivia: Ooh, we’re going to direct them in some of their kink resolutions.
Ms Delia: Oh, yes we are. Yes we are.
Each Mistress makes kink resolutions
Ms Olivia: So let’s start off saying what our own kink resolutions are and maybe this will give listeners some ideas for their own naughty activities. It will certainly give them some ideas of what we’re going to be working on because you and I have sexual bucket lists just like anybody.
Ms Delia and her kink resolutions
Ms Delia: I definitely do. I think for me personally, my kink resolutions for this year all kind of stem from trying something new or actually finding a different kinky community, some new kink friends. I’ll tell you why.
One of the places I used to go to that had these wonderful Femdom nights but they canceled them. The Femdom group actually said, that’s a lot of work. We can’t do this so much anymore. So I’m not driving to Atlanta once a month. That just isn’t going to happen now. I’ve tried to find kink in my own neighborhood, which is a little bit harder. So I think I am resolving to do that, to find a group, to find more kinky people.
Ms Olivia: You know what? You bring up such a great point about the difference between someone who is a fetish player in the kink community as a hobby versus what we do as a Pro Domme on the phone. You and I are different.
I am so grateful that this is a vocation and an avocation because we can engage in our passions all day long. And our phone sex isn’t always about sex. There is a lot of intimacy and variety but we are immersed in our erotic selves instead of being like that Femdom community that said, “This is a lot of work. I don’t want to do it when I’m working at the bank all day, uh, an eight or 10 hour workday and then I come home and you know, talk to people and send emails and organize things for another couple of hours.” I just wanted to say that.
Ms Delia: That’s a very, very, very good point. I had even thought about and talked with my husband Jack, he loves these Femdom nights as well because we have a kinky marriage. We talked and I thought “Hmm, maybe I could take it over for that Femdom group.” And then very quickly that reality check came in and I just, I don’t have the time.
Ms Olivia: Right. Because it takes a lot of time to do that. In one of the fetish groups that I go to, I help out with email and you know, it does, it takes time.
Ms Delia: Oh yes it does.
Ms Olivia: Okay, so back to your kink resolutions. The first one is find like minded people and connect with them.
Ms Delia: I think that’s the biggest one for me.
The second resolution that I have is to get some really fun sex toys that I have been thinking of and really enjoy using them.
I want to actually get a lot more remote sex toys that I can control and I want to have a lot of fun with that.
Ms Olivia: ~laughs~ Oh Ms Delia! You want to control the sex?
Ms Delia: ~laughs~ Yeah!
Ms Olivia: I’m shocked, shocked to hear that! ~laughs~
Ms Delia: I know, I know, I know! Who would have thought, but yes, I’m resolving to do more remote sex toy play.
Ms Olivia: I love that. Can I steal your resolution?
Ms Delia: Absolutely yes you can!
We’re doing The Weekly Hot Spot podcast, which is definitely BDSM education. But I’ve also liked discovering this whole community of BDSM educators on Twitter.
I’m @MistressOlivia1 and you are @EmpressDelia on twitter.
This whole community of educators go to conventions. So I want to go and meet up with some of the people that I’m meeting on Twitter. Fascinating people. Interesting. Smart. Kinky is fuck.
Ms Delia: It’s very interesting to me that a lot of people at the end of the year will talk about things that they want to change.
They resolve to lose weight, they resolve to get healthier. There are all kinds of changes that people want to make for good. So I’m very, very curious about everyone’s kink resolutions.
And how would you get started with that? What would you do?
Ms Olivia: Well, I think … you and I love lists.
Ms Delia: Oh yes.
Ms Olivia: People can probably figure that out about us. We love lists.
Let’s break it down to five steps to achieve your erotic and kink resolutions.
Step One: Know what you want.
I always tell people that if you go to the airport and you say, I want to buy a ticket, the person at the counter will be like, where do you want to go?
If you say someplace warm, they’ll say where?
You have to know where you’re going in order to know whether or not you’ve arrived and how to get there.
So the very first thing is identify kink resolutions; identify something that you want to change, improve on, explore more. Kind of like what you were saying. You’re already in the Femdom community, but you want more.
Ms Delia: Exactly.
Ms Olivia: What kind of questions would you ask someone to help them identify something that they could have as a New Year’s resolution for better sex?
Ask these questions about your erotic desires
Ms Delia: If I were asking some questions to help people identify their kink resolutions or what they really wanted, I would actually say, “Tell me about your fantasies. What fantasies are you having? What are those very naughty, sexy thoughts that turn you on?” Because if they can have that conversation with me, that usually leads to what they really, really want sexually.
Ms Olivia: That’s a good point.
In an earlier podcast on the most popular sexual kinks, we talked about how people want novelty and adventure. I think part of being able to talk about fantasies is being able to talk with someone and even say, I don’t know if I would ever want to do this erotic role play or this fantasy in real life, but it’s hot as hell to think about it.
Does a sexual fantasy count?
Ms Olivia: So I think as we talk about these kink resolutions, we’re not necessarily saying you have to come up with a game plan in order to do this in real life. Because I think that fantasy is also real life.
Ms Delia: Oh fuck yes.
So many of my fantasies are quite a part of my real life. There are some fantasies that either can not be brought into your real life. I do have one science fiction fantasy that is very erotic and very sensual, but I know that that will never be reality. So yes, I see that some of my fantasies that I just know will never happen in real life are best served as fantasies and maybe our listeners are the same way.
Ms Olivia: So I gotta ask, what’s your science fiction fantasy? Inquiring minds want to know!
Ms Delia’s fantasy in the virtual world
Ms Delia: My science fiction fantasy. It all started because of a piece of furniture that I got in the virtual world. It was an edging table and it’s very futuristic looking, sleek and silver. The helpless victim is strapped onto the table and I sit at the computer and basically program this machine to tease and edge his cock for any amount of time. It is incredible.
I fantasize about that in all different kinds of ways: the moans, the screams, oh, just everything in that teasing and delay, that tease and denial. It’s so very sexy to me.
So that could never be reality because there is not something that is a computer programmed edging table. I only get that in our virtual world, but it’s very real in my sexual fantasies.
Ms Olivia says make that fantasy real with DIY sex furniture
Ms Olivia: You know I’m a “can do” kind of person. I always look and say, “Oh, how can we do such and such? You could actually do that really with remote sex toys.
Ms Delia: Oh wow. I love that.
Ms Olivia: You’ve already got a ton of fetish furniture and you’ve seen my attic. I’ve got a ton of fetish furniture up there.
You could use a Fleshlight!
You could tie someone up on a table and attach them to a fucking machine.
You could even have like a tube attached to the head of the cock going up and attached to their mouth. So when they cum, their cum is pumped directly into their mouth.
I’m telling you there’s a way to do this. We should actually work on this. That could be our resolution.
So fucking kinky
Ms Delia: OMG you are so fucking kinky. And I love it. I never even thought about the tube for cum eating. But Lovense does have the Max, which is basically a flashlight that is remote controlled.
See, this is why it is so wonderful when you and I get together and start collaborating because kinky fucking shit happens.
Your kink resolution plan
Ms Olivia: Kink resolutions need a sex plan and you and I are planning people. You plan all of your chastity scenes, you plan all of your tease and denial scenes, your jerk-off instructions. You and I are both planners. We are organized. We bring the best of project management skills to kinky play.
Ms Delia: Oh we really, really, really do. It is so much fun planning for sex and I always do a little management, you know that I love to have control over the whole scene. And if you are into a lot of kink, if you’re planning it, it’s fun. It’s homework. I think that really, really is going to be fun for you.
Ms Olivia: So let’s talk about kink resolutions and sex plans. Let’s give some examples to kind of get people started. Remember itt’s different for each and every kink or fetish.
Let’s talk about a very popular one, putting a man in or catching a man in panties. That presupposes that you have panties. Let’s resolve that this year you are going to have at least a couple pairs of panties to play with when you call your Mistress.
Ms Delia: Oh absolutely. And this is where you and I both can come in to help with those kink resolutions and planning for them because I talk all the time about how to go into a store and buy panties. And if you follow my instructions, my tips, my tricks, my hints, then absolutely you will get yourself a pair or two or three or more of panties that you can wear this year.
Ms Olivia: After the holidays, stores have great sales. So not only will you get the panties that you want, but you will get them at a very good price.
Ms Delia: Yes, yes, yes, you will.
And think about something. Another example, better orgasms.
I don’t know anyone who would turn away a better orgasm, right?
Don’t you want a better orgasm?
Ms Olivia: Right! We’ve never talked to someone who says, nah I’m totally fine with this crappy little jack off and go.
Ms Delia: Exactly, exactly. And it is that little easy, quick, fast rub one out jack off JOI porn that so many people are used to, and you and I both are so skilled in the art of guided masturbation and it is an art, the art of teasing, the art of cock control.
We can really guide anyone to have exactly that, a better orgasm. I even have on my blog, Beg for Mistress, a program for intensifying orgasms. It’s that important to me.
Ms Olivia: Are you surprised at how many people say, “Oh my God, how do you know so much about cocks?:
Ms Delia: I think that I just know so much about cocks because I am so fascinated with them. I’m so curious about them. And, I have a lot of experience in playing with them and teasing them, you know, on my husband Jack or virtually here online in Distance Domination phone sex. It’s amazing.
I can see why people would think, “Wow, she knows a lot about cocks.”
I’m a professional. We both are.
Each Mistress is a cock professional
Ms Olivia: We are cock professionals.
When someone says that to me, I just kind of shrug and I say, “Well, you’ve only had one cock. I have had thousands of cocks.”
Of course I’m going to be more of a cock expert. I’m going to be able to tell you things to do or try with your cock that you had no inkling to even try.
Ms Delia: Oh yes. For a while. I was doing masturbation Monday posts and those were so much fun because it was a way for me to learn a new technique and introduce it to my blog readers. It was really cool that a lot of my blog readers had no idea about some of these sexy masturbation techniques and they all did have better orgasms and more pleasure.
When you are making an erotic resolution, it really should be all about your sexual pleasure and what you want to do.
Ms Olivia: Let me also say that your cock training programs have also been used to make sex better for the partner because if somebody is a quick draw McGraw and that release happens within just a couple of minutes or five minutes after going inside of her pussy, she’s not happy with you.
I don’t care if she faked an orgasm and says, “Oh honey, that was fine.” She’s lying. I’m telling you she’s lying.
And it doesn’t matter if you’re really great at licking pussy. If she were fully satisfied with just having her pussy licked, trust me she would be a lesbian. She wants the dick. So you have to have staying power.
If you are going to have a fun, fully satisfying sexual relationship for both partners, you and your partner.
Ms Delia: Oh yes. I am so glad that you said that because I talk a lot a lot to couples too. Girlfriend, boyfriend, married couples.
I love giving that kink advice to them. It might be that the woman does have an issue with his staying power. Well you and I both know that we can work on that to help him overcome his premature ejaculation.
Ms Olivia: Or we can talk to her and say, you know, you don’t have to put up with crappy sex with your boyfriend or your husband. You can have him lick your pussy all you both want and then you can go get a lover who has a superior cock. Then everybody’s happy! Oh, and going back to buying panties on sale, we can put the cuckold in a pair of panties.
Ms Delia: That is fun. That is delicious. And that is so, so true. It all comes down to this: what are you planning for?
Olivia and I are the Mistresses to help you make that plan to really up your sexual game this year.
Cuckold fantasy or reality?
Ms Olivia: A lot of people watch cuckold porn and want to bring cuckolding into reality and they want to talk about their cuckolding fantasy with their partner.
I think that’s going to be a popular kink resolution that people want to make that into reality.
But, I’m not so sure that cuckolding should be a reality for every person or every relationship. For some people I recommend, “Hey, keep it as a super hot fucking fantasy.”
What do you think?
Ms Delia: I agree. In fact, I talked over your little bit and was going to say, I think that something like cuckolding if it hasn’t been negotiated or planned out with your partner, it’s really hard to make that into something real life.
So cuckolding or cock sucking or a lot of kinks I think at least to start off when you are resolving to do these things, it’s best to explore them and fantasy. And I think that’s where we come in.
Ms Olivia: Well, we come in certainly for the fantasy, but we also come in with real conversation about real sexual issues. We’ll bring up things like the question of “Are you sure that you really want to make this into reality?” Then get people to really thinking and sometimes will admit that they aren’t sure if they really want to do this.
But if they come back and say, yes, I absolutely want to experience sucking a cock in person, we can help them with that. We can kind of guide them. Here’s some of the things you want to be cautious of. Here’s some of the things to think about.
Sex advice from sex, BDSM and kink experts
Ms Delia: I think that’s one of the ways that we really can help and give that kink and sex advice.
I think it’s important to have someone who has talked about your fetish before, who has had experience in your kink and I think Olivia and I both are very well versed in almost all kinks and fetishes, so we really can help you to take it to that next level.
If you really do want to enjoy your kink in your real life, ask us how and we will personalize a plan for you so that you can enjoy your kinks more fully.
Fantasy or real life for your kink resolutions?
Ms Olivia: I’ve also had conversations with people and I know you have as well where I say, “I don’t think you actually want to do this in real life. Let’s just keep it as fantasy.” And then the caller actually gets relieved and says, “Oh, I thought I had to go to the next level.” I say, “Nooooo, there are no levels. There’s only enjoyment.”
Here’s a great example. This guy called for cum eating advice. He was cum curious, but he had never tasted his own cum. He started on a cum eating training program. Fast forward a little bit, he loved cum and became just this total cum enthusiast.
I said to him, “I think you would benefit from exploring your bi tendencies. I think you might be bisexual.”
I pointed out, “I’m completely clear that you love having hot sex with your girlfriend, but I think you might be bisexual. Are you open to talking about that?” He said yes so we started talking about that.
He eventually found to man and sucked his cock and became this total cum junkie and loves sucking cock, loves gay sex, and has told me so many times, “I am so grateful that you suggested that I try this in real life because I never would have thought that sex in my 50s would have been way hotter than sex in my twenties.”
He’s thrilled with his sex life and he’s still with his girlfriend. She knows all of this and he’s still with her.
Ms Delia: That is so, so fabulous for him. How wonderful.
I think, kind of doing the opposite of that, it is okay to have a fantasy as your kink resolution and I want to talk about that just a little bit.
When it HAS to stay as a sexy fantasy
Ms Delia: I speak to someone who is married with a family, but more than anything, he wants his body to change. He’s, I want to say six feet 2 inches tall about 195 pounds. He’s muscled. He plays hockey and is into all kinds of sports.
But in his fantasy he wants to be five, two or three, very slender with big breasts, a curvy figure. And he just really is fascinated with that.
He could never bring that into his real life. So there might be those things like that that come up where you just know that you need a fantasy and that is okay.
The way the brain works, a well crafted fantasy is as real or more real than something happening to you right in front of your eyes. It’s interesting.
Have you had phone calls that are hotter than some of your BDSM and kink fetish play at a convention, for example?
Ms Delia: Oh, absolutely. And it’s so amazing that you bring that up.
I’m thinking about a couple of different calls and how they just kind of go in a direction that they could not go in with the rules and restrictions at a lot of different fetish conventions and play parties.
I am also thinking about virtual reality as well.
If you cannot bring something into reality but you want to make it more real, you can explore your kinks and fetishes in the virtual world.
I am in there, Mistress Olivia is in there and a lot of LDW Mistresses are actually in the virtual world.
You just brought up the Giantess fantasy. There are worlds that you can go into in virtual reality where it is set for Giantess scenes. His avatar is tiny and my avatar is huge. The perspective is absolutely incredible.
There are a lot of fantasies that are perfect for the virtual world. Think about feminization. You might not, right? You might not be able to have the body that you want in real life just due to your own genetics and biology, but you can create your avatar that you absolutely relate to in such an amazing and personal way.
My avatar is me. I care about what she looks like, what she wears and you just identify with your character so that is another option to creating a fantasy for yourself.
There are a lot of different ways, a lot of different places where you can play to make things more real for you even if they have to stay a fantasy.
Ms Olivia: I’m glad that you brought up virtual reality. We did an interview with a crossdresser. Her name is Yvonne. I helped her with her avatar clothes and I will never forget the first time that she saw herself moving in that virtual world in a wedding gown that moved and her hair moved and her gestures.
She and I got to watch ourselves dancing. She started crying. She said, “I’ve never seen myself … this feels real. I’ve never seen myself like this before.” I think that’s a great example. I’m glad you brought it up.
If you want help setting up in the virtual world, Ms Delia is actually the best one to talk to. She’s better with some of the technical stuff than I am. I’ll be honest, I go to Ms Delia and I say, “How do I do this?” And she’ll always help me. Ms Delia can show you how to enjoy sex in the virtual world.
So get with Ms Delia, her email is Delia@enchantrixempire.com
She can help you and get you up in the virtual world.
Think of us as your kink resolutions coach. My email is Olivia@enchantrixempire.com.
Connect on twitter:
We’ve got all kinds of sites to check your progress, ways for you to do various things.
I mean, we’re great at tweaking your personalized plan; creating it and then tweaking it.
Ms Delia: Absolutely. And I will be honest, I love planning. I always say if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So for me, creating a plan, a checklist, a wonderful Excel spreadsheet, anything to track you. Oh my goodness. I could do that all day long. It’s that much fun.
I love being a kink resolutions coach.
Ms Olivia: You’re also starting to post a lot of things on our new site phone sex assignments.
I haven’t posted anything there. I have to actually get with you. So you tell me how to do a PDF.
Ms Delia: Absolutely. Absolutely. I have, um, I think four or five masturbation assignments up there already and I am actually working on some sissy calendars that should be coming up very fucking soon.
Connect with Mistress
Ms Olivia: You know what? You and I should do some assignments for The Weekly Hot Spot.
So for example, if we do a tease and denial Hot Spot, we do some masturbation assignments.
If we do a feminization podcast, we’ve got some feminization assignments. We should totally do that together.
Ms Delia: I think I can sense a plan in progress. Oh yes.
Ms Olivia: All right. This is going to be our number one of all of the kink resolutions. This is going to be our number one resolution.
Ms Delia: Do you see how that happened? Recording this podcast? The idea struck us and now we have a fucking wonderful kink resolution together. Assignments on Phone sex assignments.com. This is perfect.
Follow us on our blogs.
Ms Olivia: Experienced Mistress
Ms Delia: Beg for Mistress
We’re on Cock Radio on Spreaker every Monday at 1 pm eastern time.
I am so excited about these kink resolutions and going into the New Year.
Ms Delia: Me too. Wow. It will be exciting. So thank you everyone for joining us for The Weekly Hot Spot. Happy New Year!
Ms Olivia: Happy New Year, we’ll see you next year and next time.