Do you have a cuckold fantasy? This is one of the most popular internet searches. Mistress Olivia and Mistress Delia talk about the men who want to be a cuckold.
Ms Olivia: Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot. Kink conversation, BDSM advice, inside the world of Distance Domination and phone sex. We’re your hosts, Mistress Delia and I’m Ms Olivia. Thank you for joining us today.
Your guide to the cuckold fetish
Ms Delia, Let’s give them a guide to the cuckold fetish! Let’s start with the definition of a cuckold.
Ms Delia: I love that. The definition of a cuckold to me is a dynamic where there are more than two partners: the wife, the husband and the wife’s lover. The wife has sex with her lover and generally not her husband. It’s kind of a simple definition.
Ms Olivia: I love that. It is a basic definition – a cuckold and his unfaithful wife. But the reason why I love this so much is because you can take it in a variety of different ways.
Ms Olivia: For example, cuckold porn is huge on the internet. One of my favorite books, it’s a neuroscience book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts, studied internet patterns. They found that cuckold porn is the second most popular heterosexual interest on the internet. I can attest to that; I love porn about cuckolding.
Ms Delia: I am not surprised at all.
Ms Olivia: Do you like cuckold porn?
Ms Delia: I do.
Ms Olivia: Tell us about that.
Cuckolding in Ms Delia’s marriage
Ms Delia: So I like cuckold porn. It is interesting to me because I do the cuckolding dynamic differently in my marriage.
Ms Olivia: Oh, that sounds hot! Tell us more about that.
Ms Delia: Well, let me explain. Of course I am a hot wife, but my husband Jack is always my bull in the cuckold dynamic. So from time to time I have invited a submissive cuckold to come into the dynamic and enjoy a cuckold scene with us.
Ms Olivia: There are a bunch of articles about the cuckold fetish on the internet and never once have I read that scene, which is one of the reasons why you need somebody who is experienced in kink, BDSM, and fetish stuff because, quite honestly, we’re more creative. That’s incredibly creative of you.
Ms Delia: Oh, thank you so much, Mistress Olivia. Oh my goodness. I think that cuckolding can go so many different ways. It’s fun.
Ms Olivia: I read this great article that said, the cuckold fetish is kink for smart people. Did you read that?
Ms Delia: I love that article, and it really is so true. A lot of cuckolding is more of a psychological fetish. It’s not physical with say, whips and chains or anything like that. A lot of it is in the mind; wondering what your hot wife is doing with her bull, agonizing, in an exciting way, over things that she’s doing and thinking. It’s incredible. So it is very cerebral.
Ms Olivia: According to the neurobiology of the brain, the chemistry of the brain reads, the physical endorphins caused by say, whipping and impact play. It reads shame and humiliation much the same way. And so, just like some pain play is eroticized, humiliation, shame, misery, jealousy, all of those things are pleasurable in the minds of a cuckold, which is kind of the paradox of cuckolding and BDSM where pain is pleasure.
Ms Delia: Right. Absolutely. And the mind really is our biggest sex organ. It can feel pain and emotional pain, like humiliation, in the same general area together. It’s really wild how the brain perceives things.
Ms Olivia: A cuckold fetish can often start as a fantasy. In my experience it generally starts as the husband’s fantasy rather than the wife’s. Have you seen a lot of people that go from fantasy to reality within their own marriage? Do they ask you about that on the phone?
Ms Delia: That is a great question and I do get a lot of phone calls where people ask, “What should I do?” I think it’s because people know that I am a married Mistress, couples ask me a lot of questions about cuckolding. So I do talk quite a bit about cuckolding in my day to day fun.
Ms Olivia: I love this comment from someone who is a cuckold. He says, “I might respectfully suggest that cuckolds do indeed have feelings, a confused constellation of feelings swirling around making rational judgment pretty much impossible.” All right, listen, we know that one of the reasons why his rational judgment is out the window is because he’s rock hard! Why? Because cuckold fantasies are hot.
Ms Delia: Right, exactly. ~laughs~
Ms Olivia: He continues talking about the swirling feelings, “… guilt and shame for sure but also excitement and arousal. There’s almost a masochistic level of self pity and loathing, cloaked in denial for many, envy and jealousy, anger and impotence, hopelessness and longing, a sense that life is so unfair, and sexual frustration.” That IS a tangled web of feelings. Reading that makes me wet. Delia, does that make me a bad person?
Ms Delia: I do not think so because you know, women do actually love the cuckold fetish too.
Ms Olivia: One of the reasons that smart women and certainly women in a female led relationship love the cuckold fetish is because it benefits us. So the fetish might start with the man, but if the woman kind of understands what she gets out of it, Oh my God, it’s the best of all possible worlds. Right?
Ms Delia: Oh, that is so true.
I spoke to a couple, both the husband and the wife; their take on the cuckold fetish was this. It started out for her where she just really loved the extra attention. Being treated like the hot wife really made her feel beautiful and it was fun. It was a fantasy for a while.
Then this couple took it to the next level. They went to a bar, met someone, rented a hotel room and experienced real time cuckolding.
She said it was everything and more that she had ever imagined being fawned over by two different men. For her it wasn’t so much about the humiliating aspects of the cuckolding, but all of the compliments and accolades and pleasure and all the happiness and fun that she was getting from the cuckold fetish.
Research on cuckolding
Ms Olivia: Research shows that cuckolding tends to be healthy and positive, either in fantasy or behavior, because of things like that. The woman is so pleasured and so desired.
Ms Delia: Oh yeah.
Ms Olivia: If they are able to get the communication right.
Communication in a cuckold relationship
Ms Delia: That is so important. Just going for the dynamic and not talking about that could be disastrous. I think that’s where someone who is really experienced and who knows so much about the cuckold fetish, it’s really good to have a conversation with someone like that. So you can at least get your plan in place. How to start with cuckolding and then moving on down and looking at your next steps.
Cuckolding is so personal to each couple. If I think if you lined up 10 couples who loved cuckolding, I truly believe that each fantasy would have little nuances, little personal tweaks that are personal to exactly that couple.
So for example, she wants to spend the night with the bull. How does her husband feel about that? Is he okay with her spending the entire night away? Will that be one of those, Oh, I’m aching, but it’s so, such a good ache or is that out of bounds? Does she go, have sex, come back, and tell him about it?
Ms Delia: Right!
Ms Olivia: it’s those kinds of details that can cause trouble. You and I both can kind of walk someone through, I don’t know, the potential landmines in a new cuckolding relationship.
Ms Delia: Oh, absolutely. And there were also those landmines, those little traps that I think people have very strong feelings about. Namely whether or not the cuckold will suck cock like for fluffing the bull to get the bull ready for his wife or after as a sign of respect. There are a lot of splits on that. Some men are completely for it, some men are completely against it. So cock sucking is not in every cuckold dynamic.
Types of cuckolds
Ms Olivia: Absolutely. That’s a perfect segue into the types of cuckolds. Let’s talk about the various types of cuckolds. As you said earlier, there’s so many creative ways that we can go with this, either in fantasy or in reality, but here’s some general types. So you’re the husband of an adulterous wife. What happens in the voyeur type of cuckold relationship?
Voyeur —- Husband of a hot wife
Ms Delia: I love the voyeur relationship. To me, it’s almost like a kind of the beginnings of a deeper cuckold relationship. In the voyeur relationship, the wife and the husband will spend some time talking about past lovers.
Ms Olivia: HER past lovers; not his.
Ms Delia: Right! Her past lovers like her guy in college and maybe she hooked up with him at a party last week. There are so many things that they can talk about. They might even look at cuckold porn together. I find that with the voyeur cuckold there is so much communication and confession. Things like, “I’m so sorry sweetie, to tell you that I cheated on you with your best friend.” You know, it’s really sexy. And I think that cuckold fetish is amazing!
Ms Olivia: And, let’s face it, if she’s telling him that and he’s getting rock hard, she’s got the answer to whether or not her cheating is okay. She can just look at him “Okay, you might say that you don’t like this, but your dick is so hard think perhaps you do like this.”
Ms Delia: Exactly. The Dick doesn’t lie.
Ms Olivia: ~laugher~ The dick never lies. ~laugher~
Submissive — in a Female Led Relationship
Ms Delia: Absolutely. And I did explain that my cuckold dynamic is different from the mainstream norm cuckold dynamic. And I think when you are a Mistress, a Femdom, and it’s a Female Led Relationship, there are certain expectations that you have of your lovers. And taking on a lover is almost a given right, of being a Mistress and the submissive beta takes on the role as the cuckold>
Ms Olivia: What’s so interesting in your relationship, Jack is normally your sexual submissive, but in the cuckolding relationship, he’s the Alpha Male to the cuckold.
Ms Delia: Absolutely. We have our boundaries that we have negotiated that we have discussed as part of our BDSM relationship as part of being married.
One of those things that we talked about was that we will only penetrate each other. We don’t penetrate other people. So I wouldn’t fuck someone putting my pussy on a cock. I wouldn’t be penetrated. And Jack would not penetrate someone else. So that’s how we define it.
Now, of course, if I have a strap on, I absolutely can penetrate someone. Just saying.
Ms Olivia: It’s perfect to get the boundaries. I’ve been talking with a submissive that inspired the earlier podcast, how to find a Dominant Woman.
And this submissive was asking questions like it is one size fits all. One of the things that I kept saying is, no, it’s not one size fits all. There is no ‘right way’ to do kink, BDSM or fetish. It’s whatever is agreed upon by the two, three, four more people involved in it.
Ms Delia: Exactly. And I really think that that is the nicest part of the cuckold fetish that you really can personalize it to each person within the dynamic.
Ms Olivia: Yes! One of the most common things, especially in cuckold porn, is small penis humiliation. So it’s the cuckold fetish with small penis humiliation.
Cuckold fetish from small penis humiliation
Ms Olivia: I actually have personal experience dating a guy with a small penis. I didn’t know he had a small penis. It was a long distance relationship. I was so hot for him. Oh my God. And then I get there in person and um, wow. He had a teeny weeny.
I wish that I had known about cuckolding back then because I really think he would have been perfect for small penis humiliation and cuckolding, but I didn’t know then what I know now.
So I just told him that I was permanently washing my hair and too busy to talk to him. I dumped him.
Ms Delia: I love knowing that you broke up with a man because he had a small penis. That is something that he must still think about. It must just be epic, small penis humiliation for sure.
Ms Olivia: Right — if he likes small penis humiliation, in which case he’s rubbing his teeny weenie saying to himself. “Oh, she broke up because I have a small penis.” I mean it’s the humiliation and degradation and the pain of being broken up with that’s what makes small penis humiliation hot for guys.
Ms Delia: Oh, I completely, completely agree. I’ve even done some, a humiliation in my own dynamic.
Ms Olivia: Oh, now tell us about that.
Ms Delia: One of the things that I really do like about being a Femdom is that I love to dish out some humiliation.
It can even be very sensual humiliation and cuckold humiliation, as you can imagine from my dynamic, is something that I really couldn’t key into, especially if my husband was the bull. So there was one night where I actually used sex toys as my bull. I used my very favorite, amazing cyber skin dildo. Jack was not allowed to touch me.
He was the cuckold to my sex toys that night, and later after we were discussing our scene, he really did feel embarrassment. He felt cuckold humiliation in that moment, in that scene, it was exactly what I had wanted for our cuckolding dynamic.
Ms Olivia: That is such a great story. I know of a lesbian couple that cuckolds her lesbian partner with the man.
I know that some men that I’ve talked to and we’re playing out a cuckold fantasy scene, I cuckold them with a woman.
There’s so many ways to do this, and I think one of the key things is that your wife is a slut for him and not you.
Ms Delia: Exactly. Seeing your wife as this amazing sexual being who just needs the sexual pleasure, who has everything that she could ever want, and she’s just going for it. I have to love that.
Ms Olivia: So there are all kinds of types of humiliation: verbal, physical degradation,,and sexual humiliation.
I love that you point out that it doesn’t have to be this mean screaming at people.
Erotic humiliation can be just something really sweet: “Oh honey, why don’t you sit down over there in the chair? He can take care of me.” Or “Sweetie, why don’t you wrap your hand around his big cock and just guide it into me. See how much bigger he is than you are. That’s really why he gets this beautiful, juicy pussy and you just get to rub that teeny weenie with your hand.”
Ms Delia: Oh, that is just right. Oh, I love that.
Ms Olivia: That’s actually perfect to get into the discussion about the cuckolding fetish in terms of bi curious, bi sexual or gay. You mentioned it earlier, so let’s talk about kind of guiding him in that direction. Or perhaps he knows that he wants to go in that direction.
Ms Delia: Do you mean sucking cock?
Ms Olivia: Absolutely. Well, it can be sucking cock or truthfully, I think there are lots of things before just diving right into sucking cock.
Some men know that they want to be cuckolded in order to suck a cock, but not all men. Some men want to start with cleanup duty. They don’t want to suck a cock, but they want to lick the cum out of her pussy. So it’s cleanup duty or eating a cream pie.
Ms Delia: Oh, that is perfect. Cream pies are perfect even for men who don’t want to suck cock ever. Within the cuckold fetish, there is an overwhelming number of men who pay respect to the bull by just eating his cream pie fresh out of their wife. It is really incredible.
Ms Olivia: The cream pie is not just respect to the bull, but it’s also a way to take care of his wife, to really support her in the cuckold relationship. It can be humiliation or it can be a way for the primary couple to begin to reconnect and even build intimacy.
Ms Delia: Right, right. And that is the nice side of it.
And I think the other side of cream pie eating is that it could help to lead a cuckold, who doesn’t realize that maybe he’s bisexual or gay or wants to be that way in his dynamic, to sucking cock, to licking the bull’s balls, to even offering himself up when his hot wife is tired so that the bull can take over on him and fuck him.
Ms Olivia: When someone definitely goes in to the bisexual or gay part of this sometimes they also want to dress en femme. I think this is a huge part of sissy play for a sissy cuckold husband. We probably need an entire episode to talk about the sissy. But just touch on this briefly if you would.
Ms Delia: Oh yes. All of the thoughts that just came through my head. We definitely need a full episode on the sissy cuckolds.
But thinking about a lot of calls that I take I know that a wife might say, “Oh sweetie, you just really are not man enough are you? And that’s why you should put on this bra and this pair of panties so that you’ll be ready for my bull when he gets here.”
She continues “Oh, that’s it. Sissy needs ust a little lipstick so you can be my good fluffing cuckold cocksucker. There are so many things you are going to do. My little sissy husband.”
Ms Olivia: Especially wearing lipstick that has the name cocksucker red!
Ms Delia: Oh, that’s my favorite for cocksuckers! ~laughter~
BBC – interracial cuckolding
Ms Olivia: Yes! So speaking of colors, we would be remiss if we didn’t talk about interracial cuckolding. Some people don’t like it don’t do it.
I find it hot because you bring in that very taboo subject of the big black cock into a white marriage.
Ms Delia: Oh yes. And I really love taking on interracial cuckolding on phone calls because it’s such an intense fetish. The bull has a huge cock and the white male is always the beta bitch to him. It really does get just, it takes on a complete life of its own and gets really, really intense.
Ms Olivia: I’ve dated a lot of black men and I am here to tell you that not all black men have huge cocks. But there is a reason for that stereotype because the black men that have a big cock really do have a big black cock.
Ms Delia: Right.
Ms Olivia: I wish you could see my hands right now. It’s HUGE! I’m telling you, huge!
Ms Delia: Oh yeah. I’ve seen the cuckold porn and Oh my goodness, the interracial cuckold porn does not disappoint. Fuck. Those are big cocks.
Ms Olivia: Mm Hmm. And I think every woman deserves a big cock, sexual pleasure, and whatever she wants sexually. So this may start out as the cuckold fetish for him, but she still might be reluctant. Sometimes the wife is initially reluctant to even explore a cuckold fetish. What do you say to her?
Ms Delia: When I’m talking to a reluctant wife who is unsure about the cuckold fetish, I will often try to explain that it’s all about her pleasure.
I like talking to the wife and wondering and asking and having her finally confess what she really wants can be an amazing starting point for the cuckold dynamic because the whole crux of the fetish is pleasing your hot wife. So giving her her fantasies I think really can help the reluctant cuckoldress step into her own and take on the cuckold fetish.
Cuckold conversations with Mistress
Ms Olivia: Sometimes having these conversations with your Mistress, whether or not your wife is participating in the relationship, can bring these fantasies to life. Whether or not they stay a fantasy or move into reality, conversations with Mistress really help.
Ms Delia: Oh I really agree. Because if you think about it, podcast listeners, you can’t go to your local hardware store and talk to the guy behind the counter and say, “So, uh, you know this cuckold thing?. What do you think about it?” Cause it doesn’t work that way in your day to day life. Speaking to someone who is an expert really will get you the answers that you’re looking for.
Ms Olivia: Yeah. Even if you have really special guy friends. “So how bout those Patriots? They’re winning again. Say, do you want your wife to fill in the blank?” ~laughter~
Ms Delia: Exactly.
Ms Olivia: Yeah. It’s not gonna work.
So here’s the thing, podcast listeners, we want to hear from you.
You can always call for personal conversations about your erotic fantasy or your cuckold experiences. Dial 1-800-601-7259 ask for Olivia or Delia. Better still, ask for both of us together!
Ms Delia: Always fun. Oh, or you mean Jack?
Ms Olivia: Ooh absolutely. We should have that fucking hot, naughty, naughty cuckold session.
Ms Delia: Yeah. Oh my goodness. I never thought of that. That sounds hot. Oh yes. Wow.
Ms Olivia: Keep up with us and learn about things that we do, all the sexy news, audios, and photos on our blogs:
Delia’s blog: Beg for Mistress
Olivia’s blog: Experienced Mistress.
Thank you for joining us and we’ll see you next week on The Weekly Hot Spot!