Listen and find out as Ms Delia and Ms Olivia share a wealth of knowledge about loving crossdressers and freeing them from what can be the nightmare of masculinity. The feminization and girl talk includes cross-dresser shopping tips and advice for male to female transformation. This is silly and serious girl talk as the ladies dish on the joy of shopping for women’s clothes!
Ms Delia and Ms Olivia are both available for phone sessions when you call 1-800-601-7259. If you want tips on finding a Dominant Woman in the local fetish community, check out this podcast episode that can help you find a Lifestyle Domme.
Adult Podcast on ways to feminize a man
Ms Olivia: Welcome to The Weekly Hot Spot. Kink conversation, BDSM advice, inside the world of Distance Domination and phone sex. We’re your hosts, Mistress Delia and I’m Ms Olivia. Thank you for joining us today.
Is feminization an erotic role play?
Ms Olivia: Is feminization a super fun, sexy role play or lifestyle? Ms Delia, what do you think?
Ms Delia: That is a really, really good question and I think that we should talk about that a little bit. I’ve got some ideas.
Ms Olivia: We are going to talk all about it and in this particular episode we’re also going to go shopping. So, interspersed with the questions, we’re going to be discussing some super cute outfits.
So, is crossdressing a role play or lifestyle? You talk to someone and you actually asked her about that.
Ms Delia: I did. I speak to someone who is just wonderfully dear and sweet and and so incredibly feminine. Her name is Caroline. She says that it started a long time ago. She had this feeling inside that she wanted to be a woman and that’s how cross-dressing started for her.
And then fast forward many years later. She had a girlfriend who gave her a makeover and when she looked in the mirror, she saw the woman that had always been inside of her that was finally out.
Ms Olivia: Wow. So you did ask her if it originally was a kink and then became a lifestyle?
Ms Delia: I sure did. And it was a little bit of both, to be honest. She said that her ex girlfriend, and I’ll quote this, “helped me to embrace the woman in me and encouraged me to let things progress and not to hide anymore.” I just loved that.
Dressing in women’s clothes can be a kink or fetish.
Ms Delia: Caroline said it’s still a bit of a kink. She said, “I consider myself to be a cuckold still, but I don’t have a woman to cuckold me at the moment. It’s a bit harder to do now that I’m living as a woman.” So for her it is more of a lifestyle than kink and always has been.
Ms Olivia: That’s interesting. So if she’s living as a woman and she’s a cuckold — is it a lesbian relationship and she’s cuckolded by another woman?
Ms Delia: I think that she is cuckolded by another woman. You know what, this is something I’m going to have to ask! I could see it being both ways.
Ms Olivia: Exactly! You start talking about gender fluid and non binary and you know, all of this kind of stuff. It’s complicated; gender identification is one of the things that makes what we do so fascinating.
I’m thrilled that a lot of men now want to explore their feminine side, their softer side. A lot of men are not full blown cross-dressers or certainly not trans women, but they love being a man in panties.
Ms Delia: Absolutely.
Dominant Woman puts a man in panties
Ms Olivia: Sometimes it’s hard to put a man in panties if he has large equipment! I got this email from someone who said, “I see all of the stuff that talks about having a small penis.” He said, “Truthfully, I have the opposite problem. I’ve got a big penis and I don’t fit in panties.” I said, “Oh baby, you need high waisted panties.”
Ms Olivia: I love the site Secrets In Lace. They have those high waisted, full bottom panties that are sheer in back. Ohhhh and you can see that little ass crack! It looks so inviting, sort of like it’s saying, “Hello!”
Ms Delia: ~laughs~ Exactly! And you know I really love? I think you can tell this in a lot of my lingerie photos on my blog Beg for Mistress, I love to wear a variety of panties. I do have a soft spot for the higher waisted vintage type beautiful panties. Retro even like you are talking about. There’s just something that I think everyone loves about the comfort and how they feel, the softness of the material, the fabric, how it just hugs you. I love that.
Ms Olivia: I’ve also seen you rock a thong or two or three.
Ms Delia: Well of course!
Steps to feminize a man: panties
Ms Delia: I love to send someone to Victoria’s Secret. Truly I do. I think that’s the best thing to do even when shopping online.
If we’re talking and shopping online together, trading links back and forth, it’s fun to just explore the variety of panties that are there. I think could appeal to anyone from the really sexy panties all the way up to some things that I have for running. They have the very smooth panties that are a kind of tight material. You just slide them on and they don’t leave any panty lines or anything like that. They’re super comfortable and breathable. They go great with my running leggings or yoga pants.
You can really go to Victoria’s Secret. It’s very much a one stop shopping for someone who’s just starting to look at panties. And with the sales they always have, you can probably grab your first pair of panties for just a few dollars!
Ms Olivia: Speaking of buying that first pair of panties, I have a tip! Try this! Cut out the cotton gusset and then you feel this silky panty fabric right against your bits.
Ms Delia: Oh, that is something wonderful. Never thought of that. What a great idea.
Ms Olivia: Let’s talk thongs! If someone is a cross dresser or a sissy and they do in fact have a small penis or a little clitty, they can wear some of those teeny tiny little thongs.
Ms Delia: Itsy bitsy for sure. And if they do a really good job with tucking as well. Yeah, the flat front is amazing even with a tiny little thong panty.
Advice on tucking
Ms Olivia: So let’s talk about tucking. That’s a great topic. Tucking will give a nice, nice smooth front to that panty panel. What are some of the ways that you like to tuck?
Ms Delia: Well, there is tucking and there’s taping. A lot of men just kind of tuck everything kind of under like if you run your hands from your belly button down and then under just kind of tucking everything between your legs. You can get a gaffe to tuck it really super well. That holds the genitals in and kind of pulls them back away from the front. So you do get that flat front appearance. A gaffe is really cool.
Ms Olivia: And you know what you can use instead of a gaffe?
Ms Delia: What’s that?
Ms Olivia: You can buy panties a couple sizes too small. Get something like the Lycra panties, not like lacy or whatever, but like the super stretchy ones. Use that as the gaffe.
Ms Delia: I love that idea. That’s kind of fabulous.
Gaffes to me, I think, have always just seemed a little clunky. A lot of them have the strings like the laces that you have to tighten. I just think it’s sometimes not so sexy. So I love the thought of tighter panties. Even shape wear could be nice.
Ms Olivia: Ooh! You mean something like Spanx?
Ms Delia: Oh yeah.
Ms Olivia: Oh my, think about someone with a spanking fetish. We’re gonna put you in spanx and then spank you because hey it’s spanx!. Okay. I’m getting weird already.
Ms Delia: I love it. I love it.
Ms Olivia: We touched on this a little bit before. We should probably do a whole podcast on gender identity but I want to do a nod here because some people when they dress en femme identify as female but they are not trans. And they are not transitioning because when they’re not en femme because they are male when in male mode. How do you talk with someone and help them begin to realize their own particular nuances in regards to gender identity?
Ms Delia: That’s really a great question. If someone speaks to me, I will say she because she is identifying as a woman. That’s whether or not she’s gone through surgeries or anything like that. I think it’s really the personal place that each person is in when she’s dressed and made up and maybe passable. Whatever that person thinks is what I go with.
I use a lot of the “her” and “she” pronouns that are appropriate. She is a girl to me and that is just how I think of her — as a woman. You know what I mean? It’s not like she’s a man dressed in women’s clothes. She really is a beautiful woman who is just sharing and talking to me.
Personal support and girl talk for femme girls
Ms Olivia: I love that and I think this is one of the things that we can bring to the conversation. For example, if somebody calls us and wants to go shopping, it really is very much the same experience of you and I going shopping. I mean you sent me links and you say, “There’s a great sale over here. Check it out!” And I’m like, “Look at these panties that I just got at Agent Provocateur. Look what they have on sale; $600 panties for $300. Woo hoo”
A lot of times a cross dresser doesn’t have anyone to share that with. The shopping and dressing is really on the down low and it’s a hidden secret. Sometimes they’re even embarrassed about it and I don’t think they should be.
Ms Delia: Oh, I agree with you. Dressing is so wonderful. It’s something that just feels so good. We women really do have all the luck with clothes. We have the variety, the colors, the richness of fabrics that different fits and styles. I can really see why panties, bras, camisoles beautiful thigh high nylons, other hosiery, shape wear, and all of that would be something that a man would be curious about and want to have on his skin. That’s why it’s so fun to take a man shopping for lingerie.
Last Season Prada shoes scene from the movie Legally Blonde
Ms Olivia: Speaking of all the options, there’s this great scene in Legally Blonde when she’s tapping her foot at one of the witnesses who was getting a drink of water. And he goes, “Don’t you tap your last season Prada shoes at me honey.” He was pretending to be straight and having an affair with this woman who was up on murder charges. Elle turns to her ex boyfriend and she says, “Quick, what am I wearing?” He goes, “Ummmm black shoes?”
That’s the difference. A gay man or a cross dresser will look at her shoes and say,” Oh, those are peep toe shoes. Those are absolutely gorgeous stilettos with an ankle strap. Those strappy sandals look great on you.”
Somebody that hasn’t experienced the thrill of dressing in women’s clothing, will just look down and go, “Hm, yeah, you’re wearing black shoes.”
Are crossdressers gay?
Ms Delia: “It’s very, very true. And I do want to say though, not all cross-dressers are gay in case somebody thought that when you were saying that, that’s not at all what you meant.
Ms Olivia: Oh, absolutely.There are lots of myths and misconceptions about crossdressers. You know what? They’ve done studies and found that most crossdressers are heterosexual. I have a bone to pick with that. No pun intended. ~laughs~
Ms Delia: Oh my God, I heard that. Okay.
Ms Olivia and Ms Delia: no conversation — just massive amounts of giggles and laughter.
Ms Delia: We do have fun when we do this.
Ms Olivia: Yes, we do. Okay, so, so here’s the thing, I have talked to a bunch of cross-dressers who like women when they’re en femme, and I’m like, wait a minute. If you’re a female when you’re dressed, wouldn’t you be a lesbian?
Another reason he wants to wear women’s clothes
Ms Delia: There’s this desire to be with women when you’re in soft clothes, to have really close girlfriends, to do all that girl to girl sharing. And I think that there’s more than just an affinity for women. You know, a man who loves to cross dress can maybe look at a woman and not be necessarily completely turned on by her. But really looking at (like you gave in your example with Legally Blonde) what she’s wearing and kind of making a mental note, Ooh, I need to search for that on Google or something. It’s a kind of melding into that wonderful sharing and closeness with a good safe group of girlfriends.
Ms Olivia: That’s where we come in.
Ms Delia: Absolutely.
Male to female transformation
Ms Olivia: When we take someone, for example, shopping or doing makeup. When we show how to create male to female transformation: hair, makeup, and body contouring. This is more than just buying the clothes.
Ms Delia. Right! It’s about creating the way you want to look. Getting the authentic look you want means more transformation things you need to do.
Ms Olivia: Right! And we know the sites; we know where to go; we know where the bargains are. Do you remember the first time you helped someone find real breast inserts with nipples on them? Do you remember that for someone who was just using socks in his bra?
Ms Delia: Oh, I really, really do.
Best way to stuff your bra when crossdressing
Ms Delia: Here’s a trick that I like to share with others who aren’t ready to get those breasts forms with nipples.
Get a little bag of bird seed and a pair of nylons. Then you take the bird seed and you fill the nylons to your desired breast size. You tie the knot and the knot becomes the nipple under a bra.
One person that I helped was actually using the bird seed method of breast stuffing. Then we started looking and shopping for realistic breasts. We went to the Breast Form Store.
We looked and shopped for a long time trading links and looking at the pictures and thinking about the weight of them and what it would feel like. Finally he got a pair of beautiful breast forms and wow. It was incredible how it matched the skin, how it just looked so real and natural. There was beautiful cleavage.
Ms Olivia: Are you saying breast forms are better than bird seed? ~~ laughs ~~
Ms Olivia: I just felt the need to clarify that. I agree. But you know what? That bird seed method is absolutely a step up from stuffing with socks or Kleenex or something like that. Breast forms can be expensive, especially when buying good ones.
Ms Delia: Yeah, I mean you can certainly look online on Amazon or places like that. A guy could find a really inexpensive pair of breast forms that sort of look like they came straight off of a Barbie doll. That kind of skin color and whatnot. Maybe start there but, as you advance, look at the more realistic, more tinted breast forms because you’re honoring your womanhood with them.
Ms Olivia: Absolutely. And breast forms look great underneath a corset! I think a corset is fabulous for male to female transformation because men don’t tend to have an hourglass figure.
It tightens in the waist and you get the dip in the waist and the swell in the hips. You can even buy panties that have padded hips and padded ass. So you get that beautiful and very feminine swell of the hips in the ass flaring out from that smaller waist.
Ms Delia: Mmm. I think those tips, those tricks really make such a difference in the overall presentation of the man who is cross-dressed or the man who is presenting himself as a woman. The man who becomes a woman needs fabulous shape wear because it can suck you in, in the right places and kind of bump you out in the right places. And I mean, I think every woman needs to know how important shape wear is for those little tucks and swells.
Ms Olivia: And this is where the girl talk comes in; the shopping, discussing things and exchanging links. It’s important to get feedback, because I know for a fact that somebody sent you some links and you wrote back and you said, okay, this looks like it might be great, but if you’re buying a corset for $13 it’s either gonna fall apart or it’s not like a real corset.
Ms Delia: Right!
Ms Olivia: We can help somebody not spend a ton of money on junk for their cross dressing wardrobe. There’s a difference between using your money wisely and just buying like 600 shades of lipstick unless you have a lipstick fetish.
Ms Delia: Yeah, exactly. 600 shades of pink. Why not?
Shoe shopping for crossdressers and trans women
Ms Delia: Oh, shoes! Because men do have bigger feet it can get tricky. If you look at your foot size and then add two sizes, that’s your size in women’s shoes.
I’ll tell you about doing personal shopping for someone and each outfit included shoes, a beautiful pair of shoes. I would go to the mall and I would choose beautiful shoes. I would always look in department stores and shoe stores. I was always looking for those designer shoes. Often, I found some great shoes for a sissy at DSW. I was looking for the heels, wedges, ballet flats, and the glammed up sneakers. Of course I also wanted to find boots. I like the to the knee boots, over the knee boots and the cute little booties. I think I’ve bought at least one pair of shoes in every category doing personal shopping for a sissy.
Ms Olivia: I love taking someone shopping for shoes of anything else!
Ms Olivia’s femme bride
Ms Olivia: You know Yvonne. She has the most amazing collection of wedding gowns and ball gowns. I have to say, it’s terrible going shopping with her because I’m like, “Oh wow, that’s beautiful. That would look fabulous on me.” Then I realize, where the hell am I gonna wear this?
I want that ball gown and then I realize, okay, I could maybe I could wear it to a couple of fetish events. I really do want the ball gown because she has such fabulous taste.
Ms Delia: Ah, yes!
Feminization guide for shoe shopping
Ms Olivia: Oh, shoes. I got sidetracked. Okay. So let me tell you about my favorite shoe shopping website.
DSW, Designer Shoe Warehouse, will have some shoes. I know they have some in 11 or even a 12 but that is only a men’s size 9 or 10, right? If you are larger than that; if you need a size 12 and up in women’s shoes, try my favorite site: Sinful Shoes.
Ms Delia: Also check out Pleaser Shoes; they have a lot of very sexy shoes. They have Platform heels, pumps, gorgeous shoes that are in large sizes. They have size 13, 14 and up.
Ms Olivia: Both those sites are great! Cute shoes are not inexpensive, but they’re not unreasonable. So for example, a six inch black fetish pumps that go up to size 14 are about 60 bucks with shipping. That’s not bad at all.
Ms Delia: I know, right?
Ms Olivia: Right! I bought some boots from Sinful Shoes and they’re great. I found out about Sinful Shoes from stripper friends.
Ms Delia: Oh yeah, that makes sense. That’s how I found out about Pleaser Shoes.
Ms Olivia: This is girl talk. We talk to our friends and then share that information with our callers and now with people on the podcast.
Speaking of shoes! It’s starting to get cold. I really want to go shoe shopping.
Ms Delia: Oh, I always love to go shoe shopping. It’s boot weather now.
Ms Olivia: I know it is. Oh hey, Right around Halloween in Washington DC there is something called the High Heel Drag Race. People dress in drag and then literally race up 17th street. It’s just off of DuPont circle. They race up 17th street in platforms, seven inch heels, all dressed in drag looking absolutely amazing.
Do you think drag is different from cross-dressing?
Ms Delia: I think drag is different from cross-dressing in that I will absolutely sit down and watch a 15 minute video on social media, just doing the complete male face to drag queen kind of makeup. I think the outfits, if you look at maybe say like Ru Paul, there is a difference, right?
With drag, there is the fabulousness of the outfits: the glam, makeup, and hair. Everything seems to be bigger, more out there, more overdone as if really making the statement like, “Hey, here I am, look at me. I am fucking fabulous.” Right? So I think of a drag queen or dressing in drag as say like that.
Cross dressing to me is more subtle. It’s often something a little more secret. If you’re a man, you crossdress under your suit a little bit, right?
Ms Olivia: Sure! He could have panties, panty hose, or stockings underneath his suit.
Ms Delia: Oh fuck yes. Pantyhose actually make men’s suit pants drape super well There is no static in the winter; the flow of the fabric is gorgeous. That’s just a little tip.
Ms Olivia: That’s why women often wear pantyhose when we’re wearing slacks. It just kind of evens out everything. It’s like applying makeup. You put on the foundation first and then you put the contouring, the shading, the eyes.
We need to talk about makeup for crossdressers and trans women
Ms Olivia: You know what, Ms Delia, we’ve come to the end of our time and we haven’t even discussed makeup. We need to do an entire podcast of just makeup.
Ms Delia: Yes. Yes we do.
Ms Olivia: We can give each other a makeover while we’re doing the podcast.
Ms Delia: That would be so much fun!
Ms Olivia: Ms Delia, you have a blog dedicated to the girly girls. People should check out: Femfabulous — it’s wonderful!
Here’s how to get in touch with both of us:
Delia’s main blog: Beg For Mistress
Olivia’s main blog: Experienced Mistress.
We are both here during the day for personal conversations, shopping and girl talk.
All you have to do is dial (800) 601-7259 and ask for Delia, Olivia, or both of us.
We’re going to have to go boot shopping so we’ll say goodbye to everybody.
Ms Delia: Thank you for joining us! This was so much fun. Bye everybody.
Ms Olivia: We’ll see you next week on The Weekly Hot Spot!